this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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And Finally...

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What did we get stuck in our rectums last year? (defector.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Do you realize that this is the 12th year we've run this series? Time really flies when you don't have something lodged up your butt. But for those of you who do, read on to see if you made this year's list of the weirdest stuff that entered America's orifices. If not, there's always next year.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and all the entries below involved some very poor decisions.

...

  • FINGER PUPPET

...

  • "SHOVED A BAG CONTAINING 20 HYDROXYZINE PILLS INTO HIS RECTUM FOR 'STREET CRED'"

...

  • "MOTORIZED TIRE PUMP INSERTED IN HER RECTUM AND WAS INSUFFLATED FOR A DURATION OF APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES"
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[โ€“] cynar 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You got to feel for anyone who ever legitimately fell, and landed, impaling themselves on something. You can guarantee that no-one involved will EVER believe them that it was an accident.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

supposedly it's either impossible or would cause enough bleeding and trauma to be medically distinguishable