this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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Man, I wish I had gone to your school.
I would have went back to school the next day and the kids would have presented me with two broken PS2s taped to a broken PS1 and giggled while singing, “I love your PS5, it makes me holler! Where’d you git it, Family Dollar?!”
Fat kid in the background with a Taz tattoo on one arm and a confederate flag on the other (at the ripe old age of 10) would have shouted, “LIKE HIS SHOES! AHAHAHAHAHA!”
Then the kids would start stabbing each other over whether Ford or Chevy trucks are better.
Shit, we didn't even need an argument to stab each other.
I've still got bits of pencil broken off in my limbs from school.
Haha me too.
And Greg. I stabbed Greg in the leg. I bet he grits his teeth and thinks about me every time he takes a shit.
I grit my teeth and think about Tim every time I notice the graphite in my hand.
He on the sex offender registry now though…so he’s worse off than me with his knocking on doors to inform his neighbors he’s a sex pest everywhere he goes ass.
Haha, you live around here?
Might have to get more specific. For example, I recall a trailer park pinecone war that pitted kids from one half of the trailer park against those low-life bastards from the other half. I'm from the good half, obviously.
Ooooh I got one better! My bunch had a chestnut shell war that pitted kids from one holler against another holler (hollow, but properly pronounced. :p). The smallest kid was captured and thrown into a pile of chestnut shells and kicked around until he was bloody from head to toe after the two groups formed an alliance against the weakest member.
That kid today is covered in tattoos from head to toe that look like a kindergartener drew all over him. Folks call him Gump. He is all sorts of messed up.
I ran when it started and the next day I heard, “Look at sissy over ‘ere. He ain’t got no scabs ‘cause he ran away like a lil queer!”
Edit: Was making the comment about Tim the sex pest and remembered that Gump was on the registry too. Something about hillbillies and incest. Damn.
At my school everyone just casually used slurs like they were in a republican locker room
Ahh nostalgia for the simpler times. /s