this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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I don't want to be some white collar stiff. I don't want to work in a place with ties. I don't want to be a tie guy. I don't wear them to weddings, because that's not me.

Nothing against tie people. It's just not me.

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[–] themeatbridge 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

When I was fresh out of college (about 20 years ago for context) I was shadowing an executive for a meeting with a bunch of people. I asked him if I should wear a suit and tie. He said you can't go wrong in a suit and tie, but whatever you wear tells everyone in the room what you want them to think of you.

Some people dress comfortably because they don't want to impress anyone. Others dress comfortably because they want you to think they don't care if you're impressed. And then there are people who dress comfortably because they don't need to impress anyone.

I asked him what the difference was, and he said it's the cost of the tie they aren't wearing. I always thought that was clever while also completely useless.

Then in the meeting he made a bigoted joke and killed the entire deal. So, I don't quote his advice often, but I thought it was relevant here.

[–] NineMileTower 9 points 1 week ago

I don't trust a man in a tie. Unless you're at a wedding and it's soon to be around your head, men in ties have ulterior motives.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Others dress comfortably because they want you to think they don't care if you're impressed.

That's me!

And then there are people who dress comfortably because they don't need to impress anyone.

I'm working hard toward becoming this person.

I asked him what the difference was, and he said it's the cost of the tie they aren't wearing.

This tracks, and correctly places me in the middle category. I bought my particularly nice ties during a particularly nice sale. (The ones I gave away because I don't wear ties anymore.)

Then in the meeting he made a bigoted joke and killed the entire deal.

That's an aspect of why I don't wear ties anymore. I don't feel like I'm great at signaling and being an ally, but at least I'm not dressed like an asshat.