this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] jaybone 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Had to check if this was the onion. Did they mummify just anybody? I thought they was reserved for rich people.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

According to wikipedia:

The third and least expensive method the embalmers offered was to clear the intestines with an unnamed liquid, injected as an enema. The body was then placed in natron for seventy days and returned to the family. Herodotus gives no further details.

[–] jaybone 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This fool takin’ time off work to watch his dead mom get an enema with an unnamed liquid?

[–] Maalus 15 points 2 months ago

Somebody needs to drive her there I assume

[–] MutilationWave 7 points 2 months ago

Really laughing for the first time today thanks.

[–] FinalRemix 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Rinse 'em out, give 'em back. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] PugJesus 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Poorer folk would get less elaborate versions of the same process, essentially.

[–] spankmonkey 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So, the pinewood box version of mummification?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

They used terracotta coffins, which is basically the cardboard coffin compared to a natural stone one.

[–] NegativeInf 9 points 2 months ago

Yes. And the pinewood box version of a pyramid. Mid range was a tiny pyramid. Low end was a ditch covered with a rock and a pile of sand.

Idk. I'm not an archeologist.

[–] AbouBenAdhem 9 points 2 months ago

Maybe the “workers” in this case are actually the Pharaoh’s ministers who don’t want to come to court.