Technology

I see exactly where you're coming from but personally when making usernames I can never re-use one because I always feel like the next one I make is going to be "the one" and trump all of my pathetic previous attempts lol.

That urge to be better, to continue growing has entire life. Never satisfied. New vehicle? First thought is "how can I tweak it to make it better?" Then I begin tweaking with things and am happy. The second that I can't find more things to tweak and feel that it's as close to perfect as can be within my capabilities it becomes stale and I lose interest.

This is a cancer for my passion in writing lyrics as in my opinion art can NEVER be good enough. The more time you put into it, the better it gets and if a change I've made makes something worse I start from square one and begin again. I've been writing music for nearly my entire life but only ever actually recorded music in the beginning when it was just a hobby. Then I realized that it was something I could actually be good at and became serious. Haven't recorded a single track since. I just write and write and write. Even when I make something beautiful, to me, that I made that? Just means I'm capable of making something better on the next page so the beauty is forgotten as soon as it was realized.

Sorry for the rant and personal details! Sometimes I use my comments as a means of introspection. Would just paste them into my notes app but I don't. I leave them in the hopes that maybe someday someone can maybe help me figure myself out or at the very least not feel so alone if they are similar.

Have a nice day/night.