this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] -3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Enjoyable, but hollow. Like junk food.

Lemmy is a link aggregator with a comments section for every link. A forum isn't built around links, it's built around community. On a forum, our discussion here would bump the thread up to the top of the forum topic every time we post. Forums are built for long term discussions over months and years, rather than ephemeral topics that fade off the front page in a day or two.

They're different mediums.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No. Not hollow.

Just because you haven't developed any real friendships with people online says a lot more about you than anyone else.

People used to have friendships solely through letters. People who never met and yet thought of each other fondly and shared their lives with each other.

There's many collections of these published over the years. I recommend the book 84 Charing Cross Road about a very close friendship that developed between a book lover in New York and a bookseller in London who never met in their lifetimes.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not in comments sections. IRC is better for that.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Once again, you do not get to tell me about my friendships or how meaningful they are.

Comment sections are no different than sending letters. My friendships with people I met on forums are no different than the relationship between Helene Hanff and Frank Doel except their correspondence was far slower and there was far less of it.

I get that you can't make such friends. It's bizarre to me that you think this is a universal thing even when you're directly being told it isn't.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Letter correspondence, too, occurs over long periods of time. It's like forum discussion, the medium just too different to compare.

A comments section is ephemeral, this conversation lasted a few hours and now we might never talk again.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do you think I'm lying about my friendships? Why would I lie about them?

[–] [email protected] -3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

No, but I don't think I was saying your friendship is impossible anyway. I said arguing on the Internet is pointless and that you can't convince anyone of anything here, and then you dragged me off topic. Enjoy your friendships, as unlikely as they are - friendship can happen in unlikely places after all.

But no matter how much you might wish it, nothing you post will impact the election even slightly. You have to log off and talk to people face-to-face for that.

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well I certainly can't convince you that it's possible to make friends wherever people can regularly communicate, that's for sure. I'm not sure why considering it's been long-established.

This will really surprise you. You will probably say they had no real friendship until they met in person even though it's clear they did:

My husband and I met on youtube comments 5 and a half years ago. We chatted on the comment stream for a while, exchanged imessages, then started facetiming. He is from England and I am from the US. We were lucky enough he came over for a business trip the next state over three months later, and we met in person. It was wonderful! We got engaged after being together for 9 months when he was staying in the US for three months.

I visited him for a few weeks in the winter before coming back to marry him in late May. It took 14 months for him to immigrate to be with me in the US. We've been married for four years, together in person for 3 years. I would highly encourage you to meet with your SO for as long a period as possible in as normal life a situation as you can, and discuss the mundane things you do everyday and how you handle your life. You want to be on the same page. Living together for a period of time if at all possible can be crucial. It's more important thanhaving many shorter visits, I think.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/oepidv/is_there_anyone_who_met_their_current_spouse/

[–] [email protected] -3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Complaining doesn’t matter, your arguing doesn’t matter, nothing we post matters.

This is what I said. You interpreted this as me saying that friendship is impossible, but I wasn't intending that. I do think it's hard, and shallow, but sure it can be done.

What I think is impossible in comment's sections is political action, which is what we were talking about before you brought up the power of friendship.

You have to log off to change people's minds about politics.

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I do think it’s hard, and shallow, but sure it can be done.

Yes, I know you think you understand my friendships better than I do.

You don't.

You don't know me, you don't know my friends.

Stop pretending you do. Stop implying I'm lying.

It may be hard for you to make friends. It may be that your friendships are shallow. Stop telling me mine are because you have no fucking idea.

This is the stupidest attempt at gaslighting I have ever seen.