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I mean ... Of your mom's still around... Maybe buy fish and like, ask to learn the recipe and cook it yourself? I'm not a mom, I'm a dad, but I cook a lot and if my kid wanted to learn what I do when cooking, that'd be cool.
Sadly mom passed away about ten years ago. And I'm not ashamed to say I'm a pretty good cook, mom actually taught me a lot as I worked alongside her in a fastfood joint we ran for a few years. And yes I've cooked wild fish myself before, it's a huge job and it's also a rare event. I no longer live near my original home so I can't find, buy or even get the same wild fish. And mom made them in the most heavy batter cooked in pure lard. It's not exactly healthy to make. The thing I miss is the circumstance of it all ... I was young, I was kid, I could eat whatever I wanted no matter how unhealthy it was and mom made it a particular way with a particular pan in a very haphazard kitchen with an old propane stove. No matter how much I may try, I'll never be able to replicate one piece of fish, let alone an entire platter of the stuff. I know most of mom's recipes now, the easy ones at least .... but I'll never get those same fish I remembered as a kid.
Many of my own childhood mistakes, cause same cringe feelings. It’s how we grow and learn. We eventually reflect and grow too.
Clearly you loved your mom, and she loved you. It’s not about the fish. She might have said today: don’t be silly give me a hug 🥰 and have you cook for her!
Melted my heart and made me tear up to hear that .... if mom were here I would have made her whatever she wanted.
Stay well my friend and I hope you and your family are happy, healthy, wealthy and wise .... and the spirits of those that have gone before are close to your heart.