Atheist Memes

I've got an apology to make, I'm afraid I've made a big mistake, I turned my face away from you, Lord.
I was too blind to see the light, I was too meek to feel your might, I couldn't see the truth, Lord.

But then like Saul on the Damascus road, you sent a messenger to me [Sam], and so I've had the truth revealed to me, please forgive me all those things I've said. I'll no longer betray you Lord, I will pray to you instead.

So I will say thank you, thank you God.

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I had no idea but it's suddenly so clear, I feel such a cynic; how could I have been so dumb?

Thank you for displaying how praying works, a particular prayer in a particular church; thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent opthalmologist.

Thank you Sam for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all, but now I see that's cynical, it's simply that his interests aren't particularly broad.
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses, or the inequalities between the various classes, but gives out strictly limited passes redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.

Fuck me Sam, what are the odds? That of history's endless parade of gods, the one you just happened to be taught to believe in is the one true God, and he digs on healing?
But not the AIDS ridden African nations, the victims of plague or the flood-addled Asians, but well-off privately insured Australians with common and curable corneal degeneration.

No, it's far more likely to be an all-powerful magician than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition. A product of groupthink, a mass delusion, an Emperor's New Clothes style fear of exclusion.

No, the only explanation for Sam's mum seeing, is that he prayed to an all-knowing superbeing, the omnipresent master of the universe, and he liked the sound of their muttered verse, and for a bit of a change from his usual stunt of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt, he popped down to Dandenong and just like that, used his powers to heal the cataract of Sam's mum!

It's a miracle!

- Tim Minchin

This was from memory so if there are any inaccuracies that's why, but the message is the same.