this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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Leave home to buy some spices, then go to a wrong grocery store and make a mess there breaking everything on the shelves
Don't forget to kidnap a few employees too while you're in the wrong store
And cut out their tongues and get arrested.
You gotta wipe out 90% of that wrong grocery store's employees and patrons through communicable diseases, even the ones in corporate who have no idea who you are or have ever met you.
🫡
WTF now I'm almost pro-Columbus again.
And the spice isle is twice as long as you think it is, but you keep insisting that it's that length.
Leave home with spices on a shopping list, come home with syphilis instead.
Head to Kroger, end up in a ‘Indian’ grocery store instead, scream at the attendees that they don’t have the real ‘chai’, from Teavana, then tell them to go back to their country.
(Ninja edit: …before heading over to Starbucks to pickup the holiday version of their ‘Chai’ Tea Latte, the one that comes with pumpkin spice added.)