Your campaign slogans will be things like:
Whelp, we invented crocks. I think we're done here.
The fact we built ChatGPT proves we need to be sent back to the Stone Age.
We've had a good run. Time to quit while we're ahead.
Time to see if nuclear winter cancels out global warming.
When campaigning, promise that you will only do one thing in office. Upon taking the oath of office, you will immediately demand the nuclear football and order the launch of the entire US nuclear arsenal, all at once, in a completely unprovoked first strike against every other nuclear power and against every national capital on the planet.
In debates, your answers will be simple and direct:
What will I do about our falling education standards? I'll start a nuclear war!
What will I do to ease America's tax burden? I'll start a nuclear war!
How will I improve racial justice in the country? I'll start a nuclear war!
I'm WoodScientist. I'm running for office. And I can tell you, I keep my promises!