this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
1228 points (98.9% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] shalafi 86 points 3 months ago (3 children)

My wife is nearly annoy proof. If I texted that, she would get all warm and fuzzy.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like your wife is keeping the Live, Laugh, Love pillow manufacturers in business.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

“Why fit in when you’re born to stand out?”

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] nomous 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life!

[–] Chekhovs_Gun 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Hot dogs. Armor hot dogs!

[–] Lost_My_Mind 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Have you tried removing the toilet seat 1 hour after your wife goes to bed, so that when she gets up to pee at 2am and doesn't turn on the light, she falls in?

Then you burst in, snap a pic, and upload it to your instagram with the caption "I keep the bitches pussy wet!"

Maybe THAT will annoy her?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Well we cant have that, of course. You need to try some new tactics.