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Dating in the modern world (self.casualconversation)

submitted 2 months ago by Modva to c/[email protected]

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People keep telling me that dating today is a war zone, facing all kinds of challenges.

Dating apps don't seem to be directly trying to help solve the problem as much as generate revenue. In fact, they are very directly motivated to not make great long term matches.

Some people seem think that just getting out there and hoping for the best is the answer. Maybe that's true, but it's still very random. I was wondering about a hypothetical alternative:

What if you could go to an agency of some kind get rated through a thorough evaluation process? Would that be helpful ? It's not perfect, and many things are hard to measure. But maybe it's a less random starting point and can escape the exclusively money driven approach of dating apps.

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[–] tributarium 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you desire romantic companionship, start by making non-romantic friends?

I tend to agree. For me, an otherwise unfulfilled person looking for a fulfilling successful romantic relationship is kind of like a poor person trying to become a millionaire. You should take care of your basic needs before aiming for something that, probably, few people ever realistically get to have.

That said, overwhelmingly, what I want is friendship (love and understanding) but it's much, much harder to find ways to meet people for friendship than a romantic relationship. There is no friendship app on the same level as the dating apps. People who want to get in my pants text back much more reliably than potential friends I meet even irl. I shouldn't complain because having a lot of suitors is a pleasant problem to have but I work unsociable hours and on more days than I care to admit, the only human contact I get outside of work is on dating apps, which is not a happy situation for me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Yea, it's hard to organically meet new people these days.

A "third place" would be nice, but I don't think I've really had one in my life for a while. A place that's neither home nor work, where there's no strings attached and random people hanging out.

I imagine that's also frustrating to not be looking for the same thing as the few you do end up meeting.