this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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Asklemmy
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Do not marry the first girl you fuck (or the first boy, either way, mixed ways too, anytype anyway).
Go live with him/her, share an apartment (do not buy together) for months, live together for some time.
Possibly, break up and meet more people, rinse and repeat until you understand:
And more important even, learn to understand the other person for what he/she is and not what you think he/she is.
My old boss once told me: "when you think you want to marry them.. First live with them two years... And when you're sure.. Wait two more years."
Until they leave you and find someone else who is ready to commit.
Sometimes if you expect the worst; you make the worst. Get out of your own way.
why do you see marriage as the only acceptable form of commitment? just curious. in my opinion it takes more commitment to stay without legal ties involved.
You talk about commitment but OP didn’t.
If you're in a good relationship but they leave because they couldn't wait 4 years to get married, then you fucking dodged a bullet. Jesus fucking christ.
Someone willing to put up with your shit and commit to you is a bullet to be dodged? Mmmk…
I was with my wife for 10 years before I proposed. We have the best relationship of anyone we know. I know plenty of people who married after a couple of years and are fucking miserable.
So you only count anecdotal evidence that ensures your paranoia about people and apply it to every situation. K.
Paranoia wtf? I've formed my opinions from my life experiences, are you trying to tell me you've done peer reviewed research to decide what makes a good relationship?
Well you certainly don’t that applies for everyone. And for all I know you, you could be super negative, project the worst scenarios only and/or you could be the problem in all your relationships and this is the excuse you landed on for maintaining a delusion.
You could be lying about having a wife just so you can ‘win’ an argument online with a total stranger online.
Not a far reach considering your response here.
lol do you always assume anyone who disagrees with you is acting in bad faith? Whst a convenient way to shield yourself from uncomfortable truths.
No wonder you're desperate to lock someone into a relationship with you asap, you sound nuts.
Ditto. As far as bad faith; i nailed you.
lol you're the one who came in swinging with "for all I know!" "you could be lying!" as soon as I pressed you on a point. That's the definition of a bad faith argument, you're not acctually trying to engage with points of discussion you're just trying to "win" the conversation.
Meh, sometimes you just know after seeing who’s out there. I wouldn’t recommend breaking off something good and risking not getting it back because of your insecurities.
Indeed, in fact, as soon as the above questions are satisfied, that's when you stop.