Our DnD discord group has a whole ass 'out of context' channel. Best decision we've ever made, granted half of them is my character, the party clown. Here are some other bangers over the years:
- "She knows how to ride a clippity clop."
- "Ah so you want it so when you die there's a magical turfwar over your body."
- "the horse is a horse....i dont think he understands the concepts"
- "It's not Delivery, it's Human Trafficking!"
- "Don't tell my dad I died for toenails"
- "It's pulsating. It shouldn't be because it's a fucking rock."
- "Jesus Christ! I mean... Bahamut Jr!"
- "There was a scary forest!" "SCARY FOREST IS NOT AN ANSWER"
- "That's Renn! He's like a dead squirrel."
- "Who wants to do coke with the illithid?"
- "I agree, other voice in my head."
- "When a corpse bee and another corpse bee love each other and don't dance..."
- "I emotionally abuse you and you bring me waffles. Thanks babe."
- "Does your house have a garden?" "Probably."
- "Should I go... unwhisk it?"
- "I heard it from the Oracle Beyoncé."
- "HOW DO YOU LISTEN TO AN EAR?!"
- "I'm sorry Renn, I love you, but fuck the rich."
- "I forgot that we have one brain cell in the party and it currently blinked away."
- "We can have one little terrorism. As a treat."
- "Hey, it's not our fault this Earth Elemental is made of door."
- "Roll a d20." "10." "...fuck." "Does that fuck up your plans or mine? (Panicking)" "Yours." "...fuck!"
- "If you would be inclined for a little adventure today, would you mind following me? Oh and it's mandatory because I've already made arrangements."
- "Can we just like acknowledge that she just did the anime "Oh ho ho ho!" laugh when you called her out on that?"
- "You ripping peoples faces off, that's entirely on you. Get some help."
- "I'm-uh-w-Lady.... I'm not above hitting a woman."
- "I have cocaine, does that count?"
- You ate a goodberry so you should be full for the rest of the day" "True" "Well you can be full and a fatass" "Just shut up and play your silly little game with your silly little characters and don't come for me like that"
- "Does a 26 hit?" "... fuck you.".
- "Why doesn't Misty have a mustache?"
- "No matter who you play you gotta either fuck with his body or his heart!"
- "The undead not dead thing is right" "Please call me Renn" "I'll never remember that" "It's literally shorter"
- "Why must I be surrounded by lesbians? ... I fear your kind." (For the record this was said by both a gay character and player)
- "Can I pick up Renn? He's a twink, right?"
- "You're a second rate duelist with a third rate meal"
- "Just gives me the confidence that she would choke me"
Okay sorry I ended up pasting way more in than I expected.... I just love this group and don't get to share these with anyone. Just such ridiculous nonsense.
Edit: Also I just remembered. I actually do have the context for that 'no no thing' line. That one is mine from my 7'2 barbarian aarakocra jokey boy. We recorded parts of sessions and caught the no no thing bit. Here if you wanna listen to it. although I don't blame you the slightest if you don't.
I've also got a stupidly long soundcloud clip of highlights from a game a couple months ago here. It includes a bunch of the quotes pasted above.
Check out [email protected] for more!
"But I don't have a cloaca."
Context, if you want it:
spoiler
I was playing a frost giant fighter, and I found a dragon egg. I asked the town vet (who the DM made up on the spot) how I could hatch the egg and raise the dragon as my own. The vet told me that dragons cannot be tamed, and that dragons bond with their mothers in the womb, and then, the egg must be laid. My line, "But I don't have a cloaca", and the vet shrugs. Queue Always Sunny theme music, "The Gang Kidnaps a Druid". In the end, I gave birth to my dragon buddy, and I named him Pellinore, and we had many great adventures until I found a bell that reversed aging, and Pellinore turned back into an egg, and the campaign ended before he hatched, again. I'm GMing the new campaign that is all homebrew, and Pellinore is making a comeback, though.