this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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yah that was me.
There was no actual "schooling" it was just a cover-story so people didn't pry and learn that my parents were too crazy/drunk/high/delusional to properly raise children. The first couple decades of my life I basically just wandered in the desert alone around my parent's "religious compound" a couple hours from the nearest town and tried to get my hands on any actual scientific or rational reading material that extended family members managed to smuggle in.
It had disastrous impact on my adult life. I did go to school later and excelled and soared through AP college classes... but with my life so handicapped from the start, I was unable to continue higher education due to poverty, unable to land a stable career, and worst of all, severe depression and anxiety from the CPTSD of basically spending 20 years of my most important developmental years isolated with two toxic, hateful, abusive parents and literally NOBODY else. I became non-verbal for years, people thought I was autistic. I have been in and out of therapy, on and off meds, and have had long, extended struggles with substance abuse, depression so bad I can't move some days, and thoughts of self-harm.
My parents were absolutely convinced that biblical prophecy was real and was about to be fulfilled, they saw themselves as actual prophets or chosen ones that would play a part in the coming apocalypse, and for years of my life I was also convinced that I was part of some greater destiny.
Fast forward through my adult life, and I'm clearing out my parent's belongings after they drank themselves to death, wondering what the fuck happened and what my real future is going to look like. Do you think AI is going to replace grocery baggers? Because I fully see myself at 80 bagging groceries.