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this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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Hey Hon, I don't have anything to contribute to this talk, but I see you talking about your fears. So just wanted to give you a lil internet hug and tell you how important, valued and brave you are. I'm sorry it's like this, but for what it's worth, I'll keep you in my thoughts. ♥
Thank you.
Gunna preface this as "knowledge few outside the trans community and even some inside aren't aware of" so please don't feel like you did anything at all wrong because this is DEEP lore and like, we know you're good. This is just my PSA attempt to make future support avoid a potential trigger and be more effective.
Inside the more toxic aspects of the trans fem community "Hon" is a derogatory slur used to refer to non-passing trans women with the implication to belittle or condescend.
I haven't heard Hon used that way since 2006.
Is it still actually a thing?
Only in the cattiest and worst circles does it live on but I know some folk who are still quite sensitive to it.
Well, I am trans, active in the community and I am aware of the concept you are talking about. But I also know it's incel / 4chan language, specifically with being a "passoid" or "non-passoid hon", as a deviation from referring to women as "femoids". So right off the bat, it's not something I take too seriously purely because I don't care too much what they say on the worst part of the net.
But more to the point, I go to a lot of meet up events with trans folk and the conversation has been brought up a few times. I've yet to meet someone who is actually upset by it. Few people aware of it, as you said its a deep lore type thing, but even of those that know most don't seem to care.
I see it kind of like the whole "Queer vs LGBTQIA2S+" debate, where to my mind Queer is more ecompassing, easier to say and commonly considered a reclaimed word for the queer community. But, there are absolutely some people have had "Queer" used derisively against them and do not feel comfortable using it as a label. I entirely respect and support that, and if I know that a person feels that way, I will go out of my way NOT to use the word Queer around them. So, if I upset you or the person I was originally replying to with my word choice, I sincerely apologize.
Apologies, I wasn't sure where it was coming from and it's one of those things that strikes me as something people outside the 2SLGBTQIA+ say without realizing that it's even a thing. I do know folk who still have a pretty visceral reaction to it... I think it depends on what part of the community you have a history on interfacing with as some folk found their initial community in places which were very solidly terrible and unlike "queer" there's never really been a solid attempt to reclaim "hon".