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I'm too dumb to learn Linux and too poor for macs. What am I supposed to do?
Your not too dumb to learn linux. I know it seems scary, and a lot of the autistic people that like it will try to convince you it's only for really smart people. But at the end of the day a lot of basic tasks are actually easier on linux. There are some that are harder gaming used to be very difficult for example. Although thanks to valve, and the steam deck for the most part if it's a steam game you can just click play and it's probably going to work.
But as an example of a more basic thing, let's say you want to install an application.
Windows: go to Google, type app name, make sure it's the real actual website officially for that app and not a sponsored result or some other fake website, find the download, pray it's not buried in a bunch of fake download buttons, double click the exe, be careful to make sure it's not installing any toolbars or other packaged bullshit, finally get your application.
Linux: there are some variations (apt dnf pacman) but all of them work the same, for arch it's "pacman -Syu " id argue thats WAY easier. If it's not in the main repos chances are high it's in the AUR (arch user repository) so you just yay -Syu . It's not harder (imo) just different.
I've actually had a number of pretty average computer user friends let me help them transition to Linux because of the crap Windows is doing lately. And after getting used to the differences they agree that Linux is not actually harder, it's just different, they grew up with windows, they are used to how things are done on windows, so it seemed difficult just because it wasn't the same. But once they got used to it they would actually agree that a lot of things are actually easier.
Now whether or not you want to put in that time to learn those differences, and change how you use your computer, is an entirely different question that you have to ask yourself. But you are not too stupid to learn Linux because realistically it's not any more difficult than Windows is
They dont need to know any commands.
Everything in Linux is point and click. There's an app store where you'll find everything you'll need. You will not need to open the terminal at all. All drivers will get installed through the OS.
Only things which do not work are the keyboard software and stuff to map macros to your keys and/or mouse buttons ans tweak the colours. Like the Razor software.
Distros like Ubuntu, popos, Linux mint are incredibly beginner friendly. There are, without a doubt, others.
They didn't need to know any cmd/powershell commands using windows and they definitely don't need to know how to use a Linux terminal to browse/mail/install software on Linux.
Depends on the distro but you are largely right. You can easily use Linux Mint or Ubuntu without being familiar with the cli.
Even Endeavour comes with Discover installed, and stuff like Octopi exists and is pretty bug free these days.