this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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Speaking from going through it myself; in the USA, Police often don't help you if you're dealing with domestic violence/rape in a marriage. My ex's military commander refused to help me too...
so don't get married. It's your fault for perpetuating bronze age bullshit.
In the modern era a marriage isn't really what it was in the past. You can get divorced if things don't work out and there's no "we must wait until marriage to have sex and then we must have children" rule for most people.
So marriage nowadays is really just either a celebration of love, or a practical move for tax or other reasons.
Domestic abusers however, ruin all that. But domestic abusers can ruin your shit even without de jure shared control of finances because they can still coerce you into giving bank auth details.
Yeah in a lot of western countries we now get the ick about all the women-as-chattel-property connotations it's always had. Watch people scramble to re-invent the meaning of the father of the bride giving her away.
As far as I can tell, marriage is the ugliest and worst chapter of contract law, because that's basically what a marriage is, it's a contract. One that people tend to sign without reading or even realizing who all the named parties are. And the standard terms most people agree to aren't all that great. "You can get divorced" yeah that process isn't a garden trowel to the spleen, is it fellas?
If it didn't already exist, and someone were to try to invent the modern concept of marriage from the ground up, we would drive them out to the middle of nowhere and leave them for dead.
Then your country hasn't modernized its laws. In mine the law says that both partners have equal rights and responsibilities to each other.
My country is in the process of regressing its laws, in fact. I think they're going to outlaw literacy next year.
Normally I'd ask if you're American, but I suppose many countries nowadays are going down the same path