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You think an empire that is extremely sexist to the point where they let a Ferengi be a leader of a noble house before a woman would be super accepting of trans issues?
...Yes? Because I stated exactly why I feel it fits with the Klingon ethos? Outside of combat, Klingons don't generally favor deception, so why would a trans woman trying to pretend she's a man not be looked at as dishonorable? Besides, Grilka couldn't be the leader of the House because (as far as the Klingons knew) Kozak died in combat which meant Quark had the right to be the head of the House. Had Quark admitted upfront that Kozak had gotten drunk and fallen on his own blade, he never would have been involved and Grilka would have been granted the House.
In the real world, it is entirely possible to be against gender but not sex (c.f. TERFs like J.K. Rowling) or to be against sex but not gender (c.f. how many gender reassignment surgeries are performed in Iran, where it's culturally better to be a woman or trans-woman than it is to be a gay man).
That's just one example. There are others.
A huge part of the Klingon civil war arc is that the Duras family had no male heir. They eventually just dig one out of the brothels. At no point is it considered a viable option for either of the sisters to openly lead.
When Worf wanted to get married to Jadzia, they needed Martok's wife's approval due to the extremely stratified gender roles. When they had trouble getting said approval, Martok basically said that it wasn't his place to interfere and sort it out himself. A huge portion of the reason why Jadzia had trouble getting approval is because she doesn't behave like you'd expect a Klingon women to. All of this friction is in spite of the fact that Martok is a lot more open minded than most other Klingons.
Klingon society is regressive in a million other ways. They are governed by a glorified aristocracy. Worf installed Martok as chancellor by killing Gowron in a casual death battle. They advised crusher to help Worf kill himselves when he was paralyzed. The society is still fairly religious. A popular coming of age ceremony involves repeatedly getting shocked with pain sticks.
All of that's just off the top of my head. There's probably more. The idea that Klingon society is ass backwards in a million different ways but super tolerant of trans individuals stretches all belief and feels more akin to Tumblr headcanon than any actual reality.
My dude, your lame Tumblr insult aside, you're still conflating discrimination of sex with discrimination of gender. Yes Klingon society is sexist in a lot of ways, but that doesn't necessitate that they're genderist too, because 1) despite what conservative ideology believes sex and gender aren't the same thing, and 2) you're attempting to square that circle using human logic with a species that isn't. I gave you an example of each situation that exists on our current planet as is.
You're also ignoring that L'Rell was Chancellor of the Empire and also that lots of female Klingons are shown in the military same as the males.
There is absolutely nothing in Klingon society that indicates that they'd be accepting of trans individuals. There are a million things in Klingon society that, while not explicitly anti trans, heavily hint at a society that would not be accepting.
I feel like you like Star Trek and want every aspect of it to be explicitly pro trans. However instead of just acknowledging that Klingons were portrayed as extremely regressive anyway, you invent a headcanon and grasp as straws to justify it.
She may have overacted. Once Gowron became aware of the situation, he addressed her directly and assured her we would honor her rights to the house. She may have not needed The Bravest Ferengi to get involved, but it didn't help her being understood.