this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
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I (20M) was never really a social person and spendy my middle school alone but I was able to make some friends in high school

However, ever since I started my Bachelors I've struggled to make friends.

I've tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can't manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I'm not going to have a chance

I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.

I've lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can't find the motivation to study and always feel tired.

I've also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I'll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I've never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.

I also have a porn addiction that's growing worse and I'm worried about its long term effects on me.

I've also never had any online friends before which means I don't know where to start.

I really need help.

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[–] berryjam 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I went through a similar phase in college. Took me over 6 months of putting myself out there, saying yes to every social gathering, going to every club/activity that sounded interesting, smiling and being friendly with everyone I met to make my first friend. Used to literally talk to people I happened to sit next to on the bus - complimenting something they're wearing, talking about the weather, asking them what they're reading all work to start conversations. If they seem cool, invite them to do something (and don't lose heart if they flake out). Good luck!

[–] berryjam 10 points 5 months ago

Want to emphasize that inviting people to do things/hang out after your current conversation is key. And exchange contact info.