this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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At the risk of overanalyzing a web comic, I feel it's worth cautioning that this screams toxic nice guy syndrome.
I'm gonna bring this up every time I see it brought up.
Why are men not allowed to criticize the current dating situation/women at all?
Every time a guy brings up how modern dating sucks there's always someone calling him an incel or something of the sort.
It just proves the point that dating in the modern day for men sucks. We literally can't even have an opinion without being insulted and belittled.
Would I be correct to assume you weren't dating before the internet? If you think modern dating sucks, then go try to find a decent partner at an alcohol bar.
Dating is drastically easier for everyone than it was just a generation ago.
Whether it's easier or not is completely irrelevant to my point.
Men aren't allowed to complain without a whole swath of people insulting/belittling/patronizing them.
I've had the same kind of trauma from women that women claim men have given them yet I'm not allowed to vent my frustrations about that trauma without being called an incel. I'm a victim of sexual abuse but I'm not allowed to bring it up because I'm a man.
I'd choose the fuckin bear over a woman.
But that just makes me "part of the problem"
This is your point, right? I'm not disputing that there are some factors that are harder, but overall it is now much easier than it used to be. The people who listened to your complaints before the internet (your actual friends) will still respond to those complaints with sympathy today.
Men can criticize modern dating. Any gender can. I'm not saying you can't. The final frame in this comic portrays strong anger at rejection which is never okay. Sadness? Sure. Disappointment? Understandable. Anger? No. The anger signifies that you feel that the other person owes you something.
Or the anger could symbolize frustration in the fact that any single flaw in a man is seen as a deal breaker meanwhile toxic women receive almost zero repercussions for their behavior.
It's incredibly frustrating to face constant rejection and constant hate toward your gender as a whole. Yet simply expressing these frustrations is labeled as the actions of an "incel" or a "misogynist" when the reality is the men these women aren't referring to are fed up with always being lumped in with the minority of men who commit the majority of the shit women bring up.
It's refreshing to see 4 separate individuals shut stuff like this down. Idk what OC was going for, whether it's rage baiting or virtue signaling - but seeing 4 people calmly say 'no you're wrong' is nice.
Anger can be acceptable if you consider that statement isn't just about you. If someone rejects me because I'm not their type, that's ok, but if you go around saying other singles are bad too, rather than admitting your standards are just high (which is fine), that's rude, especially if you're not one of the "good ones". My sister uses that phrase and it does mildly anger me, because from living with her I know she's immature (among other problems) and, to a lot of men, and especially the "good ones", I'd assume she is seen as a bad partner herself.
That being said, I do agree that the comic here is kind of forced, I only heard this being said while gossiping, and never as a form of rejection of a specific person.
That was more of an insult than a rejection. And even the rejection part of it was something she approached him for. You don't reject someone who never asked. It's either a complete lack of social awareness or deliberate cruelty on the girl's part.
So while I agree that anger isn't a great response to rejection in general, I think it's entirely understandable in this case and doesn't imply a sense of entitlement. A rude retort wouldn't be uncalled for here.
Also note that there is a difference between feeling anger and expressing it to intimidate. Intimidation (or worse) should not be a part of non-violent social interactions at all. Anger should be managed.
No, it doesn't. It shows mild anger at being insulted for no reason. Are you running on the assumption that he's asking her out in this scenario? The only rejection he got was unsolicited. Like if I walk up to the next woman in the street, ask if she's single and when she says "yes" I respond "nevermind, you're not good enough". Now she's upset and understandably so.
I'm in full agreement with your point, but this comic is not a representation of that in any way.
She's still a jerk for phrasing it that way in his face. Rejection hurts bad enough without then salting the wound.
I mean, sure, the girl in the comic is super insulting. But obviously what she said wouldn't happen in real life. Overall, the comic just feels like a mythical scenario (which is completely cool for a comic) that's embracing toxic nice guy mentality (less cool).
At the risk of overanalyzing a web comic, I feel it's worth cautioning that the word "yeah" has an H in it.