Sofia "Buff Girlfriend" @sofiabuffgf
Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it's transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.
this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
1435 points (98.8% liked)
Microblog Memes
5910 readers
6148 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Using just toilet paper is like if a bird shit on your arm and you used toilet paper to wipe it off. There's still shit on your arm - you're still dirty and need to wash it off. Bidets are really superior in every way.
I mean, If a bird shit on me, I wouldn't consider myself clean if I just hosed it off with water either. Soap needs to be involved. Bidet or TP is just a stopgap until you actually wash your ass. With soap.
Wet wipes and soap bro
Wet wipes are a problem to the sewage system. They don't break down, they clog. Don't use them unless your selfishness outweighs your sense of responsibility. This isn't a TED talk, just be a decent human being.
Huh I never really knew that. I just normally wipe 1000x times
Soz, can't tell what your point is with the 1000x comment.
They may say "flushable". They lie.
Using a bidet is like a bird pooped on you and you just splashed that shit all over the place and got everything wet.
Steps for using a bidet:
Congrats, you're now a pro, an clean, pooper.
So poopy water goes everywhere and soggy TP goes all over my butt. You call that clean. Enjoy the splashed about bits of everyone else's poop around the thinnest and least protected membranes in your body. I'm not wasting any more break time replying to you.
I'm sitting here wondering.. Do you think a bidet uses the water currently in the bowl? Or that it sprays through that water? Because it doesn't.
No
Once again, it looks like you have never used a bidet yet somehow have the confidence to get everything wrong.
Or, you have tried to use a bidet and did some kind of three stooges bit in the process.
Clearly bidets are not for you, Sir.
How tf do you clean your butthole
In the shower. How clean does a butthole need to be?
You take a shower every time you take a shit or do you just shit, take your clothes off, head to the shower and spread your cheeks for a minute?
Please take the words of experience of this thread: your perspective is incorrect. It's OK to change your mind. Bidets don't plash shit everywhere and your but can be as clean as it could be without using soap.
Did your parents not teach you how to clean?
Did YOURS? Where I'm from, if you're playing in the water but the dishes still have food on them, you're in trouble.
If you really believe that, possibly you are too thick to be using a bidet.