Men’s Mental Health

At Bella’s Hacienda Ranch, a brothel on the outskirts of the rural Nevada truckstop town of Wells, a half-priced special for adult male virgins this May has gone off with a bang.

What may seem like a publicity stunt has compassion behind it. May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US, and the brothel’s 74-year-old namesake owner and operator, Madam Bella Cummins, wants to raise awareness of what she describes as a “virginity epidemic”. She blames digital platforms supplanting young people’s in-person, “IRL” experiences, leading to stunted social development. Brothels, she argues, offer a safe space to work through resulting feelings of anxiety, shame and isolation.

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There is evidence that adult virginity and sexual inexperience are on the rise in the US, Canada and other western countries, according to Marie-Aude Boislard, director of the Canada Research Chair in developmental sexology. Approximately 15% of individuals born in the 1990s are virgins in their early 20s, the highest rate of sexual inactivity since 1985. Many report “difficult emotions” and interpersonal struggles due to social stigma, the dearth of visibility of sexual inexperience in adulthood and a lack of intimacy.

I've started running (because I needed to do something) and I've motivated myself by paying for a 11km run (and I'm not wasting that good money I paid!).

I'm now able to run 3.4km without breaks. I've never been able to run like this before, so it took a while to get to that point, but it feels great.

It's super hard to motivate myself so I had a few tricks to get me outside and then it's just a matter of moving over the same easily achievable route until I'm home, and it doesn't take too long or feel like too much.

I highly recommend doing this, even if it's just brisk walking a couple km. Get a podcast or youtube video playing, zone out and move your legs.

Question in the title…

At age 16, against my normal nature , I've asked out my then crush who was my schoolmate.

(In retrospect, it was only sexual attraction, cause her personality was abysmal..)

I say "ask out" but it was one of the childish "wanna be my gf" sort of thing. I didn't have (nor do I have now) "game".
My only valid pretense for hanging with her , and not actually planning a date, was studying together for tests.

Neverthelesss, the excitement and the rush after she showed interest in me was overwhelming , and I spiraled out of control.
I became clingy , needed and over the top in love.

It all came crashing down when I saw her avoiding me while looking afraid and creeped out.
That face is burned into my retina, and all I can think about when I even think about stepping into that arena again.

I'm 31 now, still painfully alone - but with the added bonus of feeling like expired milk and overrun with anxiety and depression.

I'm telling myself again and again that I'm doing the best with the cards I've been dealt with , and partnership or intimacy is just not one of those cards.
I try to keep busy and focus on work - because one moment of boredom sends me to a variety of really dark places.

I know that some day the pattern of eat-sleep-job-repeat won't be enough, but I'm repressing that thought like hell right now.

Thank you guys for creating this sub BTW, much needed.

I’m on vacation so I don’t have time to devote to a proper sidebar, icons, etc until next week. So for now talk about men’s mental health issues, and don’t be a dick. That’s all.