Men’s Mental Health

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I’m admittedly new to running a community anywhere online, but saw a need so I’m trying to fill it and help where I can. I’ve had plenty of my own issues over the years and am hoping for a safe space where men can discuss their own brands of issues. For now we’re gonna run by the Bartender Rule & few other rules stolen shamelessly from [email protected] :

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Here’s What I’ve Learned About Raising Boys in My 30 Years as a Child Psychologist (www.self.com)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/mensmentalhealth

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wanted to raise my son with the understanding and patience that I was never afforded as a kid.

He is kind, loving, thoughtful, curious, smart, creative, and so much fun! Seriously, everyone loves him.

I defend him. I ask him questions. I encourage him to think about the things around him. I apologize to him when I'm wrong. I engage in things he enjoys (even if I don't). I take time to listen to him.

A big thing I've noticed is that people (typically other men) will define male worth by their relationships with women ("no gf", "kissless virgin", etc.). Maybe it's supposed to be a joke, but it really has evolved past that and engrained itself as a rotton seed in the minds of young men. Why do y'all think the rise of incels and aggressive, posturing adult men is much more prominent now?

Change up shitty masculine "values" and normalize kind, thoughtful, and caring men. Strive to also become one yourself and lead by example.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a dad of a 17 month old boy, I strive to be like you. Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Don't strive to be like me: strive to be a more patient & understanding you.

You've got this, mate!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

That was so refreshing to read. It was nice hear a psychologist who advice isn't "treat them like girls" or "treat them like soldiers"

I really liked the last part where he said that helping boys is not easy because so many of them can seem unapproachable and rejecting and then says "I can vouch for the durability of their bedrock humanity even when it is less apparent.... we all know a man who was rescued by love.

[–] warmaster 4 points 1 year ago

Hey, thanks a lot for sharing this! I've got two kids. I'll be giving this a read.