Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/moratorw on 2023-06-22 11:35:46+00:00.

My nephew (4M) just graduated from preschool, and they had preschool graduation. After, all the children came to my sister’s (37F) house for a party, since they might not see each other again and will attend different elementary schools.

Our cousin (35M) came to the graduation and complained the whole time through the ceremony that it was stupid, and the kids shouldn’t get to have a preschool graduation because he never got one. The kids also got recognized for learning how to read, which upset him, and he said loudly “I know how to read too. These kids are nothing special.” The parents behind us became increasingly angry at him talking through the ceremony and confronted him, causing a scene.

At the party, he ate several cupcakes meant for the kids, causing a shortage so some kids couldn’t get any. He sat down at the kid table and started quizzing the kids on trivia, and when they didn’t know what he was talking about, he said they’re “not so smart after all.” He specifically picked a fight with one little girl (4F).

She was talking about how she learned to read, and my cousin told her, “That’s nothing special. 86.8 percent of the population can read. Do you think your kindergarten teacher will be impressed? They won’t.”

This led to a screaming confrontation with the girl’s parents, causing children to cry. I had my cousin removed from the house. This caused a huge rift in our family, with his parents (my uncle and aunt) calling me to say “how dare you choose the side of some random girl’s parents over your own blood.” And chewing me out for my “betrayal.” AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Objective-Result-661 on 2023-06-22 12:04:18+00:00.

My parents have been married for 19 years. My mom has four kids from her first marriage. Josh (28), Ella (26), Poppy (24) and Jax (20). All four of them have the same bio parents. From what I know their father is not a great guy and did some stuff to my mom but my mom and dad always kept me as far from him as possible so I don't know him really. But his kids with my mom continued to live with him half the time until they were each 18. They are still really close to him today as well.

I (16f) have always been the outsider with them. Even with Jax who was closest in age to me and he doesn't remember a time before I was born, is closer to them than he is to me.

I have learned to accept I am not their sister or their family and I am not their friend either. So when Josh got engaged I did not expected to be in his wedding. But my parents, especially my mom, did. So when they found out Josh's future wife's younger siblings (like much younger) were bridesmaids and groomsmen and I was the only sibling included, my mom went to speak to Josh, which in turn meant all four of her other kids told her I was not their sibling and even if she loved me, they did not, and I wasn't wanted anywhere near them. Neither was my dad. But he was invited to keep her happy. I would not be.

My parents have been oh so stuck on this and then a few days ago I was like, this was no surprise to me, and I'm shocked it is for you guys, none of the four of them talk to me and I have always been the outsider with them. My parents were so upset and told me I should expect it because I am just as much a sibling as they are. I told them my whole life I have known they did not love me. I also told them that at one time I would have cried so hard. But that I'm now at the point where that's just the fact of life. I told them I would have been speechless if I had been asked, so no, I wasn't surprised and they should let it go because I would not want to be in a wedding where nobody wants or even likes me.

My parents are so mad that I have this attitude about it. They want me to care more and said I was very flippant in saying I was not surprised.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/whenhailisevil on 2023-06-22 09:23:58+00:00.

I (18f) have noticed that recently my brother (14m) has been acting really weird. It started with him trying to make me angry, and when I didn't rise to his bait, he would get angry and be in a bad mood for the next few hours. When I do rise to his baiting, which is rare, he seems almost triumphant about it, and reminds me that legally I'm an adult now. This has been going on for several months, but yesterday he took it too far. It started with him accusing me of stealing his keys, waving around the key chain they were usually on, whispering to my mother about it, knowing full well I could still hear. Whenever I confronted him about the accusation, he would start talking over me as if I wasn't even there.I have insomnia and when I do sleep, I'm a light sleeper, but last night, around midnight, I heard my bedroom door opening. I opened my eyes and sat up, and the person behind the door retreated immediately, trying to be quiet about it. I asked my mom if she had been up at that time last night, and she said no, but if that's the case, the only other person in the house at that time was my brother. I've tried asking mom to talk to him, but she thinks I'm overreacting. My brother is already taller and stronger than me, so I'm worried I may be in danger. My mom thinks I'm overreacting, and keeps telling me not to talk about it, but I'm considering telling my dad when he gets back from his business trip.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Careless_Evidence_46 on 2023-06-22 11:47:16+00:00.

Background: My father (66M) suddenly passed away, in February. It’s been a big shock and adjustment for everyone.

My now husband (35M) proposed on my (33F) birthday in March, he’d already talked to my mum and dad about it. I’m not a fan of big parties, so Husband and I decided to do a small celebration for our engagement, have a nice meal at a fancy hotel, everyone can dress up.

The more we planned and the more we talked about it. We thought it would be fun to just get married. We have been together for coming up 10 years. Neither of us wanted a big wedding, so we thought a small surprise wedding would suit us. Especially with my dad passing away I didn’t want a traditional big white wedding.

We invited 10 people, my mum, sister and her partner. His mum, dad, brother, his partner and daughter. We also invited our best friends (who are also in a relationship).

All goes to plan, everyone arrives, they are escorted into our reserved room where they see a sign saying welcome to the wedding of “Husband and OP”. Everyone is surprised. Our officiant gets people in places. Husband and I walk in together. We get married. Both mums sign the marriage certificate. We go for our sit down meal.

Everyone seemed happy at the time, people were laughing. Saying they should have expected it. We had a photographer there to catch their reaction,ceremony and posed pictures after.

We went away locally for a small honeymoon. When we have gotten back, both my mum and his mum have pulled us aside separately to say they were disappointed in us. That we had taken away there opportunity to be with us when we chose a venue, did wedding planning stuff.

They are both especially upset they never came wedding dress shopping with me. Which I ironically didn’t even do, I bought a emerald green 1950s bodycon pencil dress online. It was the first and only dress I tried on.

AITA for taking away everyones chance to be involved with the wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Left-Swimming-2338 on 2023-06-22 11:43:08+00:00.

I’m sending my kids to outdoors camp, it has been a great time for everyone. My daughter Rebecca 15 is pretty rebellious with clothes, she hears a rule and will go out of her way to break it or try to get around it. It has caused so many problems before.

Now the camp has you do activities like rock climbing or canoeing. The dress code is basically work out clothes, nothing with strings or lose fabric that can get caught. Now my daughter was wearing leggings and a runner shirt before I dropped her off. She snuck in a dress and changed into it at camp. Well that was a no go and the made her change back to her workout clothes or she couldn’t do the activities. They also sent me a note saying we have other things to do and if it happens again she will be asked not to return.

I agree with them 100 % but she has been going on about how they can’t police her clothes and my husband and daughter things I am a jerk for not fighting the camp on the dress code.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Nebulabi on 2023-06-22 11:12:07+00:00.

My husband and I are on honeymoon and staying in a beautiful house on the edge of a wood. The house has floor to ceiling windows throughout and the bedroom is downstairs however the house is surrounded by shrubs and woodland with zero onlookers. There is one wooded path to the carpark that curves around a corner which is the only way to access the property so there isn't an issue with privacy. There are other similar properties nearby but they are very spaced out and private.

Anyway, as we were getting into our car this morning, we noticed an older couple wandering across the carpark looking a bit lost. They walked to the path that is signposted with the name of our house, and started to walk down it. I called out and asked if they were lost and if we could help them as that path only leads to our house. They said that they were staying in one of the houses nearby and considering renting this one in future so they wanted to go and have a look but if we were staying there they wouldn't go. I said yes, that would be best.

My husband says that I was rude and as we were heading out anyway, what was the harm in letting them look. IMO it's the principle that you can't just go wandering up to someone's holiday house to 'have a look'. There's pictures on the website if they are interested and what if we had been wandering around in our underwear/in bed/etc.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/newUsername2 on 2023-06-22 10:36:40+00:00.

For context I'm 28 and have been living on my own since I was 18. My mom and my step dad are both financially illiterate and do not work but are disabled so they get money through the VA and through the government.

I've lost track of the amount of times I've helped them with money and never got anything back. Back in 2018 I helped co-sign a car for them (never ever ever do this) and within 4.5 years they managed to only pay an average of $35 a month on it. Meanwhile during that time spending money on dolls, stuff for their cat, and other junk they don't need.

Now they're apparently on their 4th eviction notice and need $600 to help pay for it and are asking everyone for help and trying to guilt me into helping saying that I have no compassion and that im going to let my disabled mother live on the streets.

Am I the asshole for refusing to pay and let them suffer the consequences?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Mahjester on 2023-06-22 09:49:36+00:00.

AITA for selling a TV

So, I'm (21M) in university and live in a shared house of 5 other flatmates (1M4F). At the beginning of the school year, the other guy and I bought a TV and kept it in his room, since he had a big one.

For Halloween, we brought it downstairs to the living room to watch a horror movie, and never took it back up. Since then, the TV has sort've become an unspoken free use.

Now, a year later, we are all about a month away from graduating, and the two of us sold it last week. We decided selling it earlier was better because we were both foreign, and thought it'd be better to sell it earlier rather than get stuck with it later when we both move out.

But this angered the other flatmates, especially one other flatmate (21F), who made lots of snide remarks about how we sold it ove the past week. Today I got upset and spoke to her about it, and she (as a law student) kept bringing up how in divorce the items are split based on usage, not purchase. And since the four of them used it more than the two of us, we should've asked their permission before selling it.

I do feel a little guilty about it, because it's true they used it more than us. And now they won't be able to use it anymore for the month that we're all just chilling here. But also it was our TV, and we barely used it anyway.

AITA? I'm a little torn about it and kinda just need opinions.

tldr: One flatmate and I bought a TV. The whole flat used it. We sold it a month before graduation. The others (one in particular) got upset we didn't consult them first.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jbwarne on 2023-06-22 09:01:43+00:00.

My child’s mother and I broke up a year and a half ago and we have both dabbled in dating since then. We both agreed that our boy would not meet the new partner until we had been with them for 6 months. I am currently single, however she has been speaking and seeing a new man for the last two months who also has two children. She has recently asked if the 6 month rule could change as they could then see each other more and their children could meet one another. AITA for sticking to the 6 month rule? Thank you

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/b1gch1mp on 2023-06-22 03:56:14+00:00.

Scenario: 2 people in a small elevator that can probably fit 6 people.

I press my floor button and take a step back. At this point, we are both equally distant from the elevator buttons.

He then asks me to press his floor button. To which I reply "the buttons right there, press it yourself"

Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/brokenwindow454 on 2023-06-22 08:36:45+00:00.

My wife and I work and live together and have identical income. I put half of mine into savings for a house, so money is always tight on my end. We have separate banks and budgets but help each other often. Wife is still practicing saving and currently doesn’t put money aside for saving.

When installing an AC unit in the house we rent, my wife broke a window by practically just touching it. Totally not her fault, just dumb luck and old windows. She’s saying that, since we’re married and a team, I am responsible for half the payment.

While I want to help pay, I do not have the money and I do not see it as my responsibility. Am I the asshole? Should I take money from the house fund and risk our future or let her pay it off?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tasty-Palpitation-16 on 2023-06-22 02:46:10+00:00.

(throwaway account for anonymity) so this has been a big conflict with my family for the past couple weeks and i’m not sure if i’m a major a-hole or if i’m being reasonable. I (21F) recently graduated college and have been saving up to buy myself a car. i was lucky enough to attend a pretty decent university and graduated with honors, and payed my way throughout by working basically full time. my parents (43F and 46M) have helped me so much throughout my college career and my entire life obviously. however, this argument has put a bit of a strain on our relationship.

for context, my dad is a pretty passive person and goes with pretty much whatever my mom says so he doesn’t really have a strong opinion on this. anyways, after graduating i went full time at my current job and received a pretty decent bonus as well as a pay raise. over the past month, i’ve saved up a few grand as a down payment for a car (eating out less and having a yard sale of some of my stuff). my parents didn’t really have enough money to buy me a car when i first got my license since they were saving up so much to send me to college. here’s where the argument starts. i excitedly told my mom about my savings and mentioned wanting to get a car so i could easily commute to work, which i have been mostly carpooling to with coworkers or ubering if i can’t find a ride. (also, my school had a bus system that came to my apartment off campus so that was never an issue when i was in school).

anyway, my mom immediately got upset and began telling me how it would be nice of me to give my savings to her and my dad for “getting me to where i am in life” and putting me through college. tbh i was dumbfounded. she said how they wanted to take a nice vacation and put some money towards my younger sisters (17F) college fund. i told her that i really needed this money to get myself a car and save money every month from ubering less and having to pay for rides everywhere. but she argued that having a car payment would be the same amount and it wouldn’t make much of a difference. but i personally feel like this would take a huge amount of stress off me and be a big step in being an independent adult. she asked my dad what he thought and he just sided with her immediately. i got angry and started yelling at them about how i’ve worked my ass off to save for a car and that i’d like to do something for myself (i also called my dad an asshole for siding with my mom like always). my mom basically told me i was ungrateful and selfish, on top of screwing over my sister, then hung up on me.

she’s told some of my extended family about the argument, and some are on my side, like a few cousins and my grandma. but other than that everyone thinks that i should just let my parents take a vacation. i’m stuck. on one hand, my parents have done a lot for me and they deserve a nice vacation and stuff, and i definitely don’t want to potentially take away from my sisters college fund (even though i don’t understand how a couple thousand dollars would make a huge dent in a college fund these days). but on the other hand, this is MY money that i’ve saved up and worked really hard for. i want to make everyone happy but i also think it would be nice to do something for myself once in a while. so, AITA for not wanting to give my car savings to my parents?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Aquarius0215 on 2023-06-22 05:12:24+00:00.

I am freshly 18 yrs old female. My brother is 26 yrs old. Him and his fiancé (now wife) have been together for almost 4 -5 years and they obvi are about to get married. She is 1 year younger than him just for context. My brother popped the question she said yes and then the wedding preparations started, I was so excited because I don’t have any sisters only 2 brothers and I’m also the youngest. So my brother asked our half brother(30yr old) to be in his wedding and also his wife brother (16yr old) to be the best man and groomsmen. I just wanted to be the flower girl but they said I was too old… so instead the wife said you could be a bridesmaid. Which I was really excited for , just for context before the wedding we got along good and I kinda liked her, she was pretty nice to me just didn’t really talk to me. So me, my mom and the wife and her 2 other bridesmaid went to the dress shop to look for dresses. She said only requirements is that it has to be red and flowy. I by nature have body image problems so finding a dress to compliment by body was gonna be hard but i was gonna do my best to find one that I liked within her color scheme. We went to 3 different shops and each time we all went plus they added the wife’s mom. On the 3rd one I kept trying dresses on and simply kept trying to find one that fit me (also never being rude or giving up I just Nicely politely said I didn’t like it) I’m on like the 5th one when all of a sudden the bride starts screaming at me saying “ why are you trying to ruin my wedding, what’s wrong with you…. Ect….. “ I start crying and then HER MOM starts screaming at me saying why would you make my daughter cry and etc…. My mom goes outside to talk to them and then the bride cusses my mom out and her mom cussed her out….. then I find out later they did not want me in the wedding to begin with, they invited me in because they both wanted their brothers to be in it but not me… so AITA for “ruining her wedding”

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway12942937492 on 2023-06-21 21:32:53+00:00.

Throwaway, as my husband knows my main account.

Today was my birthday. I know it's somewhat childish, but birthdays mean a lot to me. Always has, and my husband known this. We have been together for 16 years, of which almost 4 years married.

I have a lot of mental health issues (autism, depression, adhd, anxiety, etc). We also had a rough year with a couple of deaths in the family. I was really looking forward to have a day where I got to feel celebrated - I kind of needed it even more today than recent years.

My husband got home from work and we had to pick up our 3yo from school and have an evaluation for him. Because it was pretty late after, I decided that we could just eat mcdonalds for my birthday. It's easy, we all like it, and our son was very excited.

When we got home, my husband hadn't ordered anything for himself (I was busy with my son during the order so hadn't noticed), and he was planning on cooking for himself when our boy was in bed.

This upset me. For years we have a tradition that the birthdayperson decides what we eat, and we eat as a family. Instead, he didn't even want to sit near us until I told him to at least eat a few bites and sit down with us - he was sitting on the other side of the room until then.

It also upset me, because our free time is limited and he chose to spend the evening rather in the kitchen instead of with me on my birthday.

I also didn't get any card, and he hadn't even made something with my kid that he could give me. While fathersday was last Sunday and we got him a cute card, a few gifts and some special project me and my son had made on together.

He then told me to go upstairs (I was teary eyed) because our boy said he wanted to make me something. He always gives something on birthdays so it must have confused him too.

He made me something beautiful, but the damage of my husband was already done. I shouldn't have to ask for things on my birthday. I literally got nothing if I hadn't asked.

So when our child went to bed, I got angry. And I cried. Then he got angry, said it was a workday and he just didn't want to spend his few hours before bed with me because then he shouldn't have any free time then. I said 1 hour would have been fine, but I shouldn't have to ask.

We argued and he said I would have gotten a gift tomorrow, but as I am ungrateful I can just send it back when it arrives.

His other reasons were that he just didn't think about it, his effort was ordering a gift a week ago and it should be enough, he didn't want to eat mcdonalds, and I shouldn't be mad.

In the end he didn't cook dinner for himself and just sat in his room playing games all evening while I cried downstairs. Me being angry didn't made him want to be near me.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/butt3rnutbabe on 2023-06-22 00:29:58+00:00.

My partner and I have been vegan for years. We have a 4 year old son who eats the same things as us, so for now is also plant-based.

We have always said that our goal will be to instill vegan values in him, but that ultimately, once he gets to the age where he starts to have more autonomy, he won't be punished or anything for choosing to consume animal products when presented with the opportunity--that will be his choice. Though of course it would be a (secret) bummer for us, lol. But that's why we refer to him as plant-based rather than vegan, until he chooses that label for himself, basically.

The rest of our family is not vegan and generally doesn't try to be accommodating regarding that either. For example, my MIL insisted on throwing a bday party for my husband, but then mentioned the morning of that she would be serving pizza, cake, and ice cream (non vegan) and that we should bring our own versions to the party "if we wanted to eat some." Which wouldn't have been unreasonable except for that it was a party she was throwing FOR my husband. Just little things like that.

ANYWAY.

Last weekend we went to a BBQ at a relative's house. Per usual, we brought our own food. Veggie dogs.

My son was sitting on my MILs lap with his veggie dog and she was eating a (beef) burger. She asked him if he wanted a bite. This is the first time I've seen her offer him meat. She wasn't trying to be sneaky about it. I think that by asking in front of me, she was testing the waters a bit regarding our earlier statements about him having the choice to eat animal products if he wanted to.

He said, "is it cow or veggie?" (we eat plenty of veggie burgers, veggie nuggets, etc so he knows to ask what things are made of)

MIL said "no honey, it's beef."

He said "Beef?"

She said "yes, it's good! Try a bite."

I was sitting across the table and watching my son process her answer, which in my opinion was intentionally indirect, so I offered, "beef is another word for cow."

My son said, "cow???" and pulled a kind of shocked face, which actually surprised me because he knows most other people eat animals, but he acted like this was unheard of lol.

My MIL gave me such a dirty look. My son did not try her burger, ate a few more bites of his veggie dog, and went to play. My MIL got up and went inside and I didn't see her for the rest of the BBQ.

Later, my FIL called my husband berating him for allowing me to "drive a wedge between your mother and her only grandchild by making him think she is an animal killer or something" (this is close to verbatim), that I can't "keep him from eating normal food" forever, and I should apologize.

We don't think I did anything wrong, but my BIL texted my husband also, said he thinks their parents are overreacting but that I should have not been "so specific about what beef is" and that it DOES seem like I was trying to throw my MIL under the bus.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LowRel on 2023-06-22 07:01:53+00:00.

We have had a cat for a few years, her name is Bellatrix, Bella for short and she is supposed to be around 7 years old, according to what the vet told us when we got her and the time that passed since then.

My brother had been dating this girl Mary for two months when she got pregnant and she is 5 months along with a baby girl now. Mary is a bossy "alpha" woman who is used to getting her way every time and I already didn't like her before this thing happened.

Last week she told us that she has already chosen the name for the baby,which is Bella, and then said "Of course you'll have to change the cat's name so that the baby can be the only Bella", as if it was an obvious consequence.

I told her immediately that it was not happening, that the cat responded to that name and she had come first and that Mary would either live with the fact that her daughter shared a name with an eldery cat or have to choose a different name.

Mary got pissed at me because I was "prioritizing a stupid cat over her daughter" and I wasn't "accomodating her needs", to which I replied that using a certain name for her daughter is not a need.

Ever since this happened Mary has refused to talk to any of us and I'm afraid I might have jeopardized my family's relationship with Mary and the baby permanently, but I love my cat and I love her name and my parents agreed that her request was out of line. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cloud_Beast on 2023-06-22 03:50:20+00:00.

I had my performance review, in which I was told I am “above average” or “outstanding” in every category. It’s also worth noting that I was recently promoted, though my eval was for my previous role.

At the end of my eval, I was told that I would be receiving a “$5.34 bonus” according to their KPI bonus structure, which in my opinion is designed to prevent people from getting a bonus.

I told my boss that I was insulted, and pointed out that they were paying me over 6x that amount for just sitting in the hour long performance eval. I asked for several things, including what the average bonus was (which was denied), what I should have done differently to earn a bigger bonus and what they thought I was actually worth (which also wasn’t answered).

I was pissed, so I went home and decided to frame a $5 bill and put it up at my desk the very next day.

I was pulled into a separate meeting with HR who chastised me for being unprofessional, and ordered me to put the picture frame away.

I am of the mindset to leave it there, and let them take action while I look for other opportunities. I work my ass off in a very high turnover field. I am worth way more than a $5 bonus.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Extra-Impression-800 on 2023-06-22 00:38:30+00:00.

I 27F and my sister 30F have a really strained relationship. I am very low contact with her and she only contacts me to either get money or ask me to buy stuff for her kids. Me and my husband 27F are very well-off and own a business together so overtime with some fun money I collected designer handbags, and soon I had a collection so when we brought our house I made a huge closet to put all of them in.

Now, recently me and my husband just announced our pregnancy, and we threw a party so we messaged family to come over and celebrate with us. My sister came and she looked around a lot for some reason so since I was suspicious I made sure to watch her moves.

Soon she started making her way upstairs and I told my husband to tell people I’m using the bathroom, and I signaled him showing him my sister going up stairs so I went up with her trying to be low about it, I saw her look around a few rooms and mine and my husbands than she found my handbag collection and looked around a bit and took three and stuffed it in her duffel bag, I forgot to mention, but I should’ve been suspicious by how awkwardly big it was but I assumed it was for her 2 kids.

She took like 3, which were my really expensive ones, my Birkin, Chanel and Dior bags. I screamed what do you think you are doing and she drops the bag and starts saying why are you following me and I tell her clearly because you are trying to steal my bags and she starts saying how I don’t need all these bags and I shouldn’t be selfish, I told her I’d be happy to give her my old bags but not these because I enjoy collecting them, I’m sorry if it sounds snobby it grew to be a habit, soon she goes down the stairs crying unnecessarily loud and so a few people follow her asking what’s wrong and she said basically the whole thing that happened upstairs and everyone kind of scolded her, because 5 people which were my mom, my aunt (her mom), my cousin, my dad and my uncle.

My mom and dad taking her side really hurt, and so now I am really wondering if AITA.

(She took her kids btw.)

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/firu600 on 2023-06-21 22:13:31+00:00.

I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding. We are both working in tech and met in college in the 100 level computer science class. I wrote a heartfelt speech for the wedding but when googling more about bridesmaid speeches I found some hilarious articles about people having Chatgpt write their bridesmaid/groomsmen speeches for them. I showed my friend and asked if she would be ok if I ended the speech with something along the lines of “written by Chatgpt”. We laughed about it and she thought it was funny and agreed.

I made the speech and everything was fine. Then the groom took me aside and told me to explain I meant by the end of my speech to his mother. I was kind of confused and asked him why his mother doesn’t just Google it and he said she doesn’t really get technology. So I waited until the party was dying down and went over to his mother (he had pointed her out to me) and asked her what she wanted clarification on about what I said at the end of my speech.

The grooms mother then rounded on me and asked me why the bride would make me a bridesmaid if I was so lazy as not to write my own speech. I was shocked and told her I had written the speech but that it was an inside joke between the bride and me (and other techies in the audience) that Chatgpt was incapable of writing such a personal speech. She got really riled up and told me that she knows AI can now do writing work and that I was just lazy I couldn’t be bothered to do my own writing for a friend’s wedding and it “inappropriate”. I didn’t get what she was so offended about but apparently she made it a big deal to the bride that she had lazy friends and therefor it meant she was also lazy for using the computer instead of “working hard”. She assured me it was nothing on me but I feel kind of guilty I unintentionally caused some issues between the bride and the MIL.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/IamManHearMeBelch on 2023-06-22 00:09:52+00:00.

I (35M) was told by my wife (33F) last night that she agreed to house sit and dog sit for her friend's family for a week in the fall. Apparently, they were talking and mentioned how they wanted to do a nice family roadtrip cross border to the US and can't take the dogs with them. My wife said she'd love to do it for them, then comes home and tries to convince me to do it with her. I'm really not up to it and declined. Then she got upset with me about why I didn't want to do it and it's "really important to her" which is why she kept insisting. I steadfastly declined and told her that it was because I really didn't want to. She got upset that this wasn't a "good enough reason" to which I responded that that was her opinion and she needs to respect mine. Anywho, we haven't spoken to each other since last night besides the normal hello's, etc.

From my perspective, I really don't like being pigeonholed into doing something which is doubly annoying because of the reaction. I am also not okay with taking responsibility for someone else's pets for a week and could never live with myself if something happened to them on my watch.

For context, my wife is very close with the friend's family in question and calls them her second family.

Am I the asshole here?

Edit: Some clarification on the "not speaking" comment.

We are both prone to saying shit in anger that we regret later (has happened repeatedly) so we go away to cool down then revisit the conversation. This method works for us but definitely isn't conventional by any stretch.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CarrotWestern1387 on 2023-06-21 21:19:24+00:00.

I (26M) have a 5 year old child with my ex (26F). We share custody of him through verbal agreement. We split time pretty equally between both parties and things have been pretty smooth for the most part. She got a new bf almost 2 years ago now and it was a weird transition but i believe for the most part i been pretty welcoming and cooperative with the whole thing since he is involved in my childs life as well. They have another younger baby now as well. For the most part we are all on the same page when it comes to my son and he's a cool dude i dont have a problem with him.

A couple months back now, my ex and I involved my child in sports and hes been doing taekwondo. On her days she or her bf take my son to practice and on my days i take him. Things were smooth. There were boundaries and we didnt really interfere in each others days with my son since he loves to spend time with us both. Things started getting a little rocky however a couple weeks back when her bf decided to join the same TKD my son did. Again me trying to cooperate said no problem, you guys do what you think is best on your days i trust you. I wont lie, it felt a little intrusive for some reason but i feel like its something i just have to deal with as a single dad. Things again took a nosedive when on the day i was supposed to take my son to practice my ex's bf took him instead since he was going there now too. I got upset and said since it was my day i felt like they stole that day from me. I talked to her bf and i told him that as cool as he was i didnt really want to go see another grown ass man practicing next to my child on a taekwondo class that i pay for but that on my ex's day with my son he was more than welcome to take my him to practice if she wanted him to.

Forward today, my ex messages me and tells me that my son is getting a promotion to yellow belt this Friday and that her bf is also happening to test for his belt on the same day and same time. Keep in mind, this is falling on my weekend. I told her that i feel i needed a little space to experince son and father things with my son without any interference and that i felt a little suffocated. She said its a public space and her bf can be there too as well. I told her i felt my boundaries as a parent were not being respected and i told her i didnt want him there. We went back and forth and got into an argument about it. I dont know if being too possesive with the time im supposed to spend with my son or if im not being inclusive enough with his now other side of the family, his step-dad now, technically. We're friends but i dont want to be best friends with him. Certainly dont want to share my time with my son with him since he can see him on the days my son is with his mom. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wanderingtower987 on 2023-06-22 00:58:44+00:00.

Backstory: I lost my son at 23 weeks pregnant last year, he was born stillborn. I held my son in my arms. That feeling/image is seared into my brain. Within my close family, this is the first time I have experienced death. My own son. I have gone through ebbs and flows of grief over the past year. I am doing better now, but I do break down once in awhile.

Just recently I found out my husbands cousins wife’s mother passed away, she was in her late 70s or early 80s. She would have needed to be under constant care as she would have needed medical attention consistently. My reaction: she is older, has lived her life, and while it sucks it’s part of life. I feel bad for the family but I hardly knew this lady. Plus she LIVED! Rather pass away peacefully with family members knowing she was going to pass away soon. So yup it sucks, I sent a condolence text, but I don’t really want to attend the funeral. I have empathy, but I just think she lived. My son didn’t.

My husband’s reaction: wow you really handle death differently. He thinks of it as well if his parents died or mine, what would he want ppl to be like. He puts himself in the shoes of the child losing a parent. He feels we should give our condolences in person. He is morose for some reason. I’m like the worst ****ing thing happened to us, and your extended family sent us a condolence card!

I don’t think I really care, I went through the worst thing imaginable. I don’t know how I would react if my own parents passed away. In my opinion, they lived, experienced life. I got to spend time with them. It’s the progression of life. No parent is supposed to bury/cremate the child. AITA because I just don’t give a shit. I don’t get why he is sad over a person he saw on extended family functions.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitafirstdategirl on 2023-06-21 23:36:24+00:00.

I (26f) have a friend (25f) who I met in college, and although losing touch for a bit after college, I moved to the same town as her six months ago for work, and we’ve hung out quite a bit since then. I have kind of integrated into her friend group(five other girls not including us) although I’m not as close with them as they are with each other, which makes sense seeing as how they’ve known each other a bit longer.

I was recently on a first date with a woman that I’ve liked for a bit (27f). We were having coffee at a cafe, and all of a sudden, my friend walks up to us and says hi. Not a big deal, I know she comes here a lot and I introduced them, my friend is super nice to my date. At this point, I hadn’t told my friend this was a date. She knows I’ve dated women in the past, but I wasn’t expecting her to realize this was a date because it could very well have just been a friend. Then she asks if she can join us and starts to pull up a chair.

My date is visibly thrown off by this, as am I, and so I say “oh I’m sorry but (date’s name) and I are on a date right now. I’ll see you later, though!”

My friend says “oh, I don’t mind!” and sits.

I reiterate, more clearly “I’d love to hang out another time but right now I’d like for it to just be (date’s name) and I”

She says ok and leaves. I thought that was the end of it, not at all a big deal, I don’t expect her to automatically know who I am or am not on a date with.

I get a call from a different girl in the friend group that night, who tells me that my friend called her and was pissed off about earlier, so I immediately call my friend and ask if we can talk. She says it was rude of me to brush her off, it wouldn’t have been a big deal to join us, and her other gay friend lets her hang out with him and his boyfriend all the time (this friend is not a part of the friend group, I have never met him). This gets to me a little because I feel like the two situations are only being compared because her friend and I are both not straight. I tell her that because it was a date, it’s different and that she can’t expect to join me on a first date. She keeps arguing, and finally I get fed up and snap at her “be fucking honest, if I was on a date with a guy you would have taken no for an answer and not had a problem” and then hang up.

She has not talked to me since then, but she told the entire friend group and they are now split. I know this bc the friend who first told me that she was pissed off as well as one other girl messaged me individually to let me know what was going on and that they’re sorry about what happened.

The messages from the people on my friend’s (maybe former friend, idk) side are making me second guess myself, I do get that I snapped at her on the phone and was rude at the end of our conversation. I don’t think I’m wrong for not wanting her to join us, but AITA for the way I behaved at the end of our convo?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Saynotothedress22 on 2023-06-21 22:56:59+00:00.

My fiancé and I are set to marry in a month. He has a step sister who is 16. My husband brought up her “dress” selection to me and said we should talk about it. I was confused as to why this would be a big deal but he needed to bring it up because his mom showed him a picture.

The way I’d describe it is that it looks more like a belly dancing costume rather than a dress. Like seriously, it is 2 pieces. The bottom is sort of drape-y and comes up to right around the hip. The top is almost like a sports bra with short sleeves. I told my fiancé absolutely not and he partially agreed but said this might be a battle because she’s extremely spoiled.

To give y’all readers a better idea. I googled “bare midriff dress” and “belly dancing outfit” and the picture I saw looks way like the latter. I know women are not supposed to judge other women’s fashion choices but I am so flipping sorry but she looks like the wedding prostitute. My family is also nosy and a tad on the conservative side. I don’t want to field a ton of questions/comments/concerns from them on my fucking wedding day about her dress.

So we both said something to her in a group text. My fiancé started the thread by asking politely she not wear it. I replied saying it looks really great on you but it’s just not the vibe we are going for at our wedding. And if she needs help paying for something else we can help. Well she blew TF up. Accusations of sexism through the roof. Maybe I didn’t think this part through but I reiterated that I liked it but my family is a bit conservative and we don’t want drama.

This is when she started insulting them. She was like instead of siding with a “fellow young woman” I’d rather cater to my old grouchy conservative family (who she doesn’t even know). She had another smug comment about how it’s her generations job to make old people uncomfortable and stand up to”generational sexism” whatever that means.

This is when I went over the line. I said you’re not looking like a hooker at our wedding, and if you show up wearing said dress you will be told to leave.

My fiancé tried to talk to her but it’s not like they have the best relationship. He tried to calm her down and ask nicely again. I apologized to her for my hooker comment, but she has not backed down in the slightest. Aita and what should we do

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Next_Lynx9938 on 2023-06-21 22:04:48+00:00.

I(22f) recently came home to visit family for my little sister's b'day (14f). I thought it'd be fun to treat her to a girl's day out and take her to the nail salon and buy her a new outfit for summer. While we were out at the salon, my sister asked me if I could also pay for her waxing (brows and lip area).

However, the issue is my parents who are more conservative. We're southeast Asians, so she does have darker, more visible hair. My mom is pretty adamant against removing body hair, even shaving or any form of makeup until you're an adult. Not sure why, but it's always been a thing. I ended up giving in since she told me she was getting self conscious about it and didn't want her feeling down on her birthday.

Anyways, when we came back home and I pretty much got kicked out and yelled at which sucked. It got out around the family and while some people didn't understand why my parents were mad, some of my cousins/aunts told me that I was a bad influence and that "I was telling my little sister that having body hair wasn't okay" which wasn't my intention at all. Anyways, I've been kinda lost on how to feel about this situation and wanted some outside perspective, aita?