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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CarrotWestern1387 on 2023-06-21 21:19:24+00:00.
I (26M) have a 5 year old child with my ex (26F). We share custody of him through verbal agreement. We split time pretty equally between both parties and things have been pretty smooth for the most part. She got a new bf almost 2 years ago now and it was a weird transition but i believe for the most part i been pretty welcoming and cooperative with the whole thing since he is involved in my childs life as well. They have another younger baby now as well. For the most part we are all on the same page when it comes to my son and he's a cool dude i dont have a problem with him.
A couple months back now, my ex and I involved my child in sports and hes been doing taekwondo. On her days she or her bf take my son to practice and on my days i take him. Things were smooth. There were boundaries and we didnt really interfere in each others days with my son since he loves to spend time with us both. Things started getting a little rocky however a couple weeks back when her bf decided to join the same TKD my son did. Again me trying to cooperate said no problem, you guys do what you think is best on your days i trust you. I wont lie, it felt a little intrusive for some reason but i feel like its something i just have to deal with as a single dad. Things again took a nosedive when on the day i was supposed to take my son to practice my ex's bf took him instead since he was going there now too. I got upset and said since it was my day i felt like they stole that day from me. I talked to her bf and i told him that as cool as he was i didnt really want to go see another grown ass man practicing next to my child on a taekwondo class that i pay for but that on my ex's day with my son he was more than welcome to take my him to practice if she wanted him to.
Forward today, my ex messages me and tells me that my son is getting a promotion to yellow belt this Friday and that her bf is also happening to test for his belt on the same day and same time. Keep in mind, this is falling on my weekend. I told her that i feel i needed a little space to experince son and father things with my son without any interference and that i felt a little suffocated. She said its a public space and her bf can be there too as well. I told her i felt my boundaries as a parent were not being respected and i told her i didnt want him there. We went back and forth and got into an argument about it. I dont know if being too possesive with the time im supposed to spend with my son or if im not being inclusive enough with his now other side of the family, his step-dad now, technically. We're friends but i dont want to be best friends with him. Certainly dont want to share my time with my son with him since he can see him on the days my son is with his mom. AITA?