Yeah, no fuckin shit. I've been incredibly fortunate and started saving for retirement at 22 (not because I could afford it, it's mandatory when you work for the government) and I'm almost 40 and still only have about $220k saved. I'm miles ahead of most of my friends, and miles behind where I'd actually need to be to retire at 65. I realized a few years ago that my options are to work until I die or retire when I'm ready and off myself when I'm out of money. Option 2 is a lot more appealing - at least I'll get to enjoy myself for a few years instead of none.
I've given up on the idea of owning a home. That's just plain never gonna happen on a single income.
Nah, I've only worked at the city/state/county levels, never federal. I think they've all been in the neighborhood of 8-10% from both me and my employer, it's just that I've made shit money for most of my career because I wanted to help people and those jobs pay like crap. I also lost about 50k the last time the market went in the shitter and I've spent the last few years just making up for that.