idk if this is a programming specific question. It feels more like "perfectionism" or a low-level OCD. For the programming piece, using some sort of task tracking system might be helpful. For example, after a task has been completed (aka a solution was found), move on to the next predefined task.
Another vaguely related term: premature optimization
To add, here's an example of my OpenVPN config addition to ensure 192.168.3.* is accessible over VPN
verb 5
push "route 192.168.3.0 255.255.255.0 vpn_gateway"
I nominate this guy for Syrian Civil War expert
imo, this situation is way too complex for internet strangers to effectively help with. It's definitely worthwhile to seek out therapy to help process these feelings and to make a plan for resolving some of the deeper issues at play.
I'm literally a software dev working for a top company and I can barely use git on the CLI. I do all of my version control operations using a GUI, so there's no sense in gatekeeping any of that. This is true of both my work projects and personal ones. It's cool if you prefer the CLI, but it is absolutely not a required skill in order to have a successful and meaningful career.
To answer your question indirectly, I think you need to learn to stand up and protect yourself. Those are skills, and they're learned skills. I'm making big assumptions here, but I'm guessing your parents never taught you good boundary setting. A quote that's gone viral recently is that “[the definitive symptom of childhood trauma is] trying to get a difficult person to be good to us in our adult lives.” You probably don't believe this internally yet, but you deserve to be treated with kindness. Difficult people do not deserve you.
I love this book in particular, and it's widely available for free in libraries. https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095
The therapy take is that this feeling comes about because you grew up in an environment where it wasn't emotionally/physically safe for you to relax. Even as an adult with well managed/medicated ADHD, the subconscious parts of your brain are still trying to protect you, so no relaxation allowed. imo, this is extra common in ADHD folk because even parts of our own brains were mad at us for not having executive function.
In particularly bad cases, this can rise to the level of being C-PTSD. Feeling unable to relax is a big indicator that whatever is going on in your head needs to be addressed. Therapy is expensive, but there's ways to get it covered by insurance, especially if you have an ADHD diagnosis.
I think it shows that they're taking on standard combat roles. The alternative could be them strictly filling non-combat roles, such as logistics/cargo transportation or engineering-type work like building trenches and other fortifications.
We can do better than prison rape jokes :/
Ok, now pick up the charges against those cops
Thank you Washington for continuing to prove that we are decidedly the best state in the nation
I appreciate you (I'm too lazy to upvote)