canadianchik

I do. I do all of that. I always compliment him and shower him with affection, especially in person I’m kissing all over his face and giving him so much love and attention… I’m scared of the unknown

That is 100% why. I feel so bad for what I’ve done. Like I can’t believe I joined her live and did that. I feel sick to the point I just wanna cry at work. I don’t know how to get this over my head. I’m insecure about myself at times so maybe I’m not ready for a relationship but then people saying loving the right one it wouldn’t matter if ur insecure or not. I am scared. I’ve been heartbroken so much that when I feel something real the instinct to break It before it “hurts” me is so bad. Do I tell him what I did? I don’t want to because I feel like it’s so embarrassing and awkward but part of me feels so weird like I need to let it out. I’m scared

No I definitely do. Ur right.

I know. I watch porn too. Idk why but the thought of him getting off to other women or whatever makes me physically ill. Like thinking about it makes me want to throw up. Ughhhhh

Yeah, I’m gonna monitor. Maybe bring up lack of attention when I see him tomorrow. I know I can find someone else but everyone just wants to have sex and it’s disgusting. He is the only one who genuinely cares and doesn’t care for having sex and stuff. I’m his first and stuff so that makes me feel good but ur right. I mean, the girl is unfollowed and that was my ONLY issue with him. I guess I wait and see if he follows her again? If he does I’ll bring it up I guess. Very embarrassing on my end.

Thank you. You see I’m like half over it already .. part of me feels guilty for going all out and telling her to unfollow but I honestly just want to see if he notices/followes her again. I feel so bad and I was sick to my stomach because I’ve never done anything crazy like that and I cannot tell him I’ve noticed because I don’t want him to think I’m stalking him you know. We have only been talking and stuff for 3 ish months now. I was going to wait it out, see how it goes the next week and take it from there. If he follows her again then I’ll bring it up to him? I see him tomorrow and we said we were going to talk about stuff because I wasn’t feeling well about me and him a couple of days ago and brought up how I’m worried we won’t work etc etc. I’m scared. I rlly like him but I’m worried this long distance and if he keeps doing this (I will talk about it to him if it continues) will ruin it.

One more thing, I feel like the fact he doesn’t like my stories but gave her picture attention is what gets me. I mean he likes my Posts but not my stories. Idk. I like him a lot but sometimes I think I might not be ready for a relationship with these jealousies lol

That’s true yea.. I mean the girl said he used to message her sending her memes and saying she looks good but if he’s with me I’d expect him to atleast unfollow her?? But at the end of the day, she’s famous and she didn’t even follow him back so I shouldn’t think too hard but I feel like I’m so turned off for some reason now. And yea I mean I still watch porn lol but that’s not a big issue to me. He has problems getting hard when we do it which makes me question if he’s thinking about something else but he gets mad when this happens to him lol.