canadianchik

Super 🥲🥲😍😍

My name don’t apologize, you’ve get every right to be upset by that, and it’s literally so stupid but I liked the meme, I didn’t even register that it was a thirst trap. I don’t think I’ve ever watched her lives either so I have no idea what she does there. We can talk about this on Friday as well, but it’s literally so stupid on my part. I’m not sure when the last time I sent a dm to her, but by no means did I ever put the comparison of you and her in my head. I deleted the conversation from my dms because I was embarrassed with it. I haven’t liked a post of her since like November when we started talking, but I didn’t even realize what that would do to you. 

You’re right it is rude, and I’m embarrassed by it and I feel gross.

This is what he said.

I feel so appreciated

Thank you for this. I do lack some confidence. I’ve been through a lot of shit, from my ex, my own parents, and fake friends. My confidence has improved a lot since before and I’m proud but liking and being with a guy seems to make me self doubt. I think it’s the comparison or fear of abandonment. I texted him everything, what I did and how I felt about it and that I feel bad. I hope it works, I had to tell him because I felt bad that I went behind his back. Waiting for a reply but I’m nervous…

Yes, I texted him, explained what I did and why because of how it made me feel. How it brought up a trigger I never knew I had. Etc etc. I hope it works out but I’m worried. I only get insecure and jealous when I’m with / like a guy. When I’m doing my own thing I’m perfectly fine. I’ve gained so much confidence compared to a year ago which I’m proud of. I got diagnosed with a thyroid disease two years ago and had put on weight due to it which is why my confidence has plummeted. I’m working on it though.

Yeah I don’t know. I give a lot though. I’m only ever more insecure when I like someone.

Yeah, thank you. I sent him a long text explaining what I did and how I felt during it and how it makes me feel insecure. I feel crazy but it’s fine. At the end of the day, it’s how I feel and if he thinks I’m a bit crazy but respects it then good. If not then whatever. I did find it weird too that he was still following her and liking her stuff when he doesn’t like my own stories of me. But I’m over it. I’m so so so happy I got it off my chest. He hasn’t responded but I had to let it out. I really do need therapy. I rlly do. I had a traumatic past with betrayal and self love issues and sabotage but it’s so expensive idk wha to do. I feel like I won’t know how to talk to a therapist or where to begin. I tried online therapy but I didn’t do much for me

No no, what I meant by that is even when I’m sad or anything, I’m always smiling. No one can tell when I’m upset. I’m always trying to fill someone’s cup when my own is empty. Am I happy with him? 10000%.. am I happy alone 40% lol that’s my points

Can I even be in a relationship if I’m like this? I feel sick thinking about how I can be fucked over and the thought of being heartbroken again. It’s so bad. Do I tell him the thing I did? How I went out my way and got her to remove him as a follower? He will see me as a jealous and insecure girl who’s stalking him. He even said he is also a jealous type so then why would he follow and like her stuff u know? I removed a lot of my followers out of respect. I mean, she was the only thing that had me on edge so i know he hasn’t done anything bad. Idk what to do. I see him tomorrow and we were going to talk about things but I feel so scared.

No no I don’t blame him. I don’t really care. I told him I don’t care and I don’t mind at all. And that I like it soft 😭😂 he understands that I understand and that is the least of my worries. I just have to focus on stopping being so jealous. I haven’t felt this affection towards someone since my ex that’s why I’m so triggered. I had a FWB before him and we would see other guys too because we weren’t dating but I never felt this way(jealousy) because I didn’t like him on that type of level

I do. I do all of that. I always compliment him and shower him with affection, especially in person I’m kissing all over his face and giving him so much love and attention… I’m scared of the unknown

That is 100% why. I feel so bad for what I’ve done. Like I can’t believe I joined her live and did that. I feel sick to the point I just wanna cry at work. I don’t know how to get this over my head. I’m insecure about myself at times so maybe I’m not ready for a relationship but then people saying loving the right one it wouldn’t matter if ur insecure or not. I am scared. I’ve been heartbroken so much that when I feel something real the instinct to break It before it “hurts” me is so bad. Do I tell him what I did? I don’t want to because I feel like it’s so embarrassing and awkward but part of me feels so weird like I need to let it out. I’m scared

No I definitely do. Ur right.