VirulentAura

joined 1 year ago
[–] VirulentAura 27 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Friend, I'm going to try to be gentle, and honest, and I hope you will listen with an open heart and mind.

I came out to myself, and my wife and kids about a week ago. I was born with the mind, the spirit, the personally, the essence, whatever, of a woman 37 years ago. I have been living as a man, conforming to society's rules for 37 years. It took me four days, two hours at a time, to feel 40% of the way you do, just by waking up.

Note: I don't know what gender you are. I don't actually give a flying fuck. The point is, if you want to go sit in a sauna with your peers, you can. I can't. All the normal experiences you had, weather you was born as a girl, and was annoyed that your mom made you sit still so she could fix your hair, or as a boy playing catch with your dad or working on the family car, you got that. You got to go to prom wearing what you want. Hell, you can go take a shit at the mall without people giving you dirty looks.

I can't.

Trans people don't want to insert themselves anywhere. Society wants to exclude them from everywhere. It may seem pointless that it's just some beauty pageant, but imagine you have this beautiful car you built, by hand. You even had to so much custom shaping and fabrication, but goddamn is she pretty. Let's take her to a car show, shall we? Wait... You can't show off the car you've literally spent years on? After all this time, after you spent all this money, all this time, hiding away. You are scared. This isn't a mass manufactured car, what if you get made fun of? It's fine, it still has the shape of a car, and it's so pretty, and you are so proud!

What.. it isn't allowed? It is a gorgeous car though.. They say it isn't actually a car, just a bunch of shit someone slapped together. You can't just take a Ford, strip it down to it's frame, rebuild it peice by peice, and still call it a car. You cheated, and it's wrong. Hell, for good measure, they tell you you can't even register to drive it. It now sits in your garage. Collecting dust.

If you don't understand my allegory, you are you, the car is your true sense of self, your "transgenderism" if you must call it that, the car show was gonna be the pageant but I spaced out and it became representative of society as a whole for a minute....

You are absolutely right that we want to be accepted. You're accepted. Why can't I be like you? Why do I have to be scared my step brother is going to beat the shit out of me just because I have to take a piss? You can go to the store and just... Grab a gallon of milk without having to worry about some bigot stalking you and hurting you just because you wore yoga pants because you think you have a nice ass. I'm nervous to step into my own backyard to have a cigarette without an entire man-costume on. You can literally put on whatever the hell you want, step outside, and and shout at the top of your lungs "I'm here!" And nobody will bat an eye.

If I put on whatever I wanted, stepped outside, and met you for the first time, pleasant as can be, your preconceived notions would be that I'm some weird bundle-of-sticks-word that need to go inside and has no place in society.

TL;DR: Trans people are people too

[–] VirulentAura 34 points 1 year ago (17 children)

That's cool, except if only certain people with certain body configurations have the uncontrolled freedom to be themselves, that's still a problem.

Or, as long as people who do not identify with the body they were given are ostricized, there are problems. As long as there are people who are groped because their body is different, lynched because their skin is different, or kept out of certain rooms just because of growths on their bodies they have no control over, there are problems.

Just because you remove a label doesn't mean there isnt a problem any more.

[–] VirulentAura 11 points 1 year ago (20 children)

What is this word salad? Could you rephrase using your own words, please, instead of parroting something you think you heard?

[–] VirulentAura 14 points 1 year ago

I'd rather a shawarma system. Looks tasty.

[–] VirulentAura 5 points 1 year ago

Dumb question: what is there to gain by a karma system? How is it different from how lemmy already tracks up votes?

[–] VirulentAura 6 points 1 year ago

"Finger-lickin' good!"

         -Colonel Sanders
[–] VirulentAura 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hi, I don't know you, but I do feel very proud of you for being brave enough to take the next steps in your journey of self-discovery, whatever it looks like. It took me 37 years to come to terms with myself, to accept I'm a girl. While I'm only a week in to acceptance, I get you. I look in the mirror and see some ugly guy trying to dress up as a girl, most times. I just wanna be the beautiful sexy lady I know I am inside.

I just wanna say, too, that if, at some point, you decide HRT isn't right for you, that's okay. That doesn't make you any less of the beautiful, strong young woman you know you are. And if, for some reason, you decide you are cisgendered , that's okay too. This is your journey. Don't let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong.

[–] VirulentAura 3 points 1 year ago

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll admit to have watching porn just to get off, but honestly, I used to think I was some pervert freak. Now... Now I realize I wasn't wanting lustfully ogle those innocent women at the mall. I was admiring, studying. Probably trying some things out in my head. You know Amber, from Genshin Impact? I haven't played it in a couple of years, but I kinda wanna adopt that style. Booty shorts, low cut shirt. I wanna adopt some of the stuff and styles I've seen, and hope I can be as pretty as they are some day. Ya know?

[–] VirulentAura 2 points 1 year ago

Oh God, as a girl who has a lot of issues with her face right now, your pictures give me so much hope.

[–] VirulentAura 3 points 1 year ago

Before I started my journey of self discovery, one of my favorite pair of socks are some (unfortunately male style) knee-high socks. Been slowly been coming to the realization that it was because they made me think that it was similar to how stockings felt. I even called them my stockings for the past year. Wore them under my jeans all the time at work, and if anyone saw them, it wouldn't even turn heads.

[–] VirulentAura 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Back when I was a young girl who thought she was a guy (I stole that line from Stephane Stirling, and will use it forever), I had always joked I was a lesbian, because if a girl who liked girls was lesbian, than so was I. Side note, it's weird how your brain drops crap like that on you, and you don't come out to yourself til you're 37. Anyways, a year an a half ago, I realized I was bi. I have a thing for big, hunky guys, almost exclusively, on the masculine side. If it weren't for that little self discovery, welllll... I can safely say I called myself out on that one. Even now, though I do describe myself as bi, I do have a heavy preference for feminism. At least, until I discover if my lust for women is either scientific or carnal. Kinda been coming to the realization I probably wasn't wanting their body, I was wanting to have their body.

Sorry for oversharing...

[–] VirulentAura 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, after I came out to my kids and started talking about gender affirming accessories, my boys came to me and asked for packers. I'm getting the terminology mixed up even in my shopping searches lol.

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