It's not about learning lessons. There's no grand narrative to life other than what we come up with.
From your posts, it's become clear that I can't convince you to not hate yourself. Only you can decide to self love, not anyone else. You absolutely will not get better until you recognize how loveable you are.
There wouldn't be a lesson for anyone in your death, just tragedy and pain. We'll always be here for you, but that will not matter unless you're there for yourself.
Sorry about that. Obviously you shouldn't eat people. This ain't Beastars 😰