Smallwater

joined 1 year ago
[–] Smallwater 5 points 3 months ago

Small-boobed girl is upset that large-boobed woman gets to snog not one, but two hot persons.

[–] Smallwater 32 points 5 months ago (8 children)

My wife's standing at her company's IT dept skyrocketed during COVID lockdowns.

Why? Because we were both working from home, and aside from helping her with basic troubleshooting, I also helped her formulate her tickets better.

Turns out, tech support folks like it when a ticket has concise info, instead of "screen broke".

[–] Smallwater 9 points 6 months ago

The sound (and image) of a potato rotating in a microwave.

[–] Smallwater 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's because they find evidence to support their truth, instead of formulating a theory based in the evidence. I've heard it described with the circle analogy.

Imagine the absolute truth is a circle, but we don't know what the shape is. By doing research, we find out certain facts as points on that circle. We can then draw straight lines between those points, and draw a shape that's as close to the absolute truth as we can get, with the data we have. Further research and discoveries place more dots, sometimes falling outside of the lines we've drawn. So we redraw the shape more and more, always increasing towards that circle. That's how science works.

Conspiracy theorist do the opposite. They draw a random shape (that's nowhere near a circle, like a star), and then go out to find proof that fits on that shape. Some proof is correct - it just happens to fall on the same lines as the circle. Others are completely out there, aligning with their shape, but not with the circle (because it's not relevant to the truth). And if they do find proof that fits on the circle, but not on their star, it's ignored.

[–] Smallwater 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

On one hand, I don't want to make fun of her looks, if they're the results of medical complications. That's just mean.

But she'd pull off an amazing Lae'zel cosplay.

[–] Smallwater 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's why Ubisoft baffles and aggravates me.

They clearly have wonderful game devs and designers working for them. A lot of their games have some really neat mechanics that are fun to play with.

But then they fuck it all up by monetizing it all to shit, or padding the game with so much useless bullshit it becomes a chore to play, or fucking up the pacing of the story with the sheer amount of useless side quests.

I'll freely admit - I enjoy playing their open world collect-a-thon games. But I have to play it in parts, because it just gets too grating. And of course I only buy their games when they're already a few years old, so I can take advantage of sales. No way I'm paying €120 for a game, even with all the spinning rims and fancy baubles.

[–] Smallwater 2 points 6 months ago

Actually, the Dutch translation is "Nijlpaard", not "rivierpaard".

But, it uses the Dutch name for the Nile river, "Nijl". So it's lit. "Nilehorse" - which is technically the same as "river horse", just more geographically specific.

[–] Smallwater 7 points 7 months ago

A few weeks later:

Sony: Piracy is killing the industry! We need tougher legislation!

[–] Smallwater 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Smallwater 3 points 8 months ago

Alt+enter insta-opens properties.

[–] Smallwater 33 points 8 months ago (12 children)

The same people who claim Stellar Blade's Eve is peak design because she's "based on an actual model!", also continuously rag on Aloy while forgetting Aloy was also based on an actual model.

[–] Smallwater 12 points 8 months ago (8 children)

And then you start to go through your dad's old record collection, and realize "damn, the old man was on to something"

62
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Smallwater to c/jokes
 

A bear walks into a bar, and approaches the bartender.

"two beers...

And a coke, please" he orders.

"sure," the bartender says. "but why the large pause?"

The bear looks down and replies "I dunno! I was born with 'em!"

57
submitted 10 months ago by Smallwater to c/jokes
 

A pirate walks into a bar, with a large steering wheel sticking out of the front of his pants. As he approaches the bartender, he is met with bewildered stares.

The bartender says, "sir, you appear to have a steering wheel stuck in your pants!"

The pirate replies "Arrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

 

One of them is a doctor, and the other one a deaf man.

Every day, the doctor gives the girl a gorgeous rose. "a beautiful flower, for a beautiful girl," he says.

The deaf man gives the girl a large red apple every day, but never says anything.

One day, when the deaf man gives the girl his daily apple, the girl asks "why do you give me an apple every day?"

To which the deaf man responds: "WHAT??"

 

And happily, she accepts. Of course, the boy wants to do his very best to make this evening as unforgettable as he can.

So, he goes to the local suit rental place, to rent a ridiculously fancy suit. But, he wasn't the only one with that idea, and there is a giant line of other guys, all waiting to rent suits. But, he wants to look his absolute best for the girl he loves, so he dutifully waits in line.

He then goes to the local florist, to buy the best and biggest corsage he can find for her. But, he isn't the only one with that idea, as there is a giant line of people, all waiting to buy flowers too. But, he wants nothing but the best for the girls he loves, so he patiently waits in line.

He then goes to a car rental company, where he intends to rent a super fancy car to drive them to the prom. However, it's a busy day for the rental company, and there is also a giant line of people waiting to rent a car. But, again, he wants what's best, so he spends several hours in line, waiting patiently for his turn.

Finally, the big night is there. The girl compliments the guy on his suit, is over the moon about the beautiful corsage, and is exstatic about the fancy car he rented. They arrive at the prom, and the guy asks her what she wants to do. She replies she firstly wants something to drink, so the guy walks over to the punch bowl, and then there is no punch line.

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