RBWells

I will say it took me awhile to wrap my head around my kid being a son not a daughter. My concept of womanhood is quite broad, I really and truly did not see it coming, just thought she was dykey , for lack of a better word, still doesn't seem distressed at all either but that may be because all the kids at school just accept kids are whatever gender they say, it's no big deal to them, and siblings all immediately supportive. I didn't lay my trouble adapting on them, it's not his problem, it's mine - just saying you have known a long time but she has not, she will adjust.

It's ok here because I'm in a left leaning city, trans kid (my youngest) will be adult soon so can begin medical care whenever they can afford it; any daughters who are at all into men have IUDs, and in general everything has been ok, except for school but that kid is a little bit insulated because it's an art school and they DGAF about the state saying they can't use nicknames or preferred gender. So that is ok but the actual teaching in the academic classes has faltered, getting bad like when I went to school here, and it's so disappointing after it had gotten so good for awhile.

Thanksgiving may be fractious because we have trans, communists, right wing, right-leaning, about half progressive leftist, one sort of prickly vegan (not prickly about us being omnivore, just more delicate sensibilities), it's always very mixed and rowdy like that, tensions seem higher but OTOH my ex has become more reasonable.

Bracing for economic downturn, hopefully it lets some people get into houses, who cannot now. And hopefully can stay employed, pretty old so have made it through several recessions already.

I say it's short for Chile con Carne because beans are the baseline chili - I'd eat chili with beans and no meat, Chile sin Carne, that's a meal by itself.

But chili with meat and no beans, like Chile Colorado, needs to be served with beans and rice, it's not good by itself. I do make that sometimes but people just call it "meat" when I do. Nobody here thinks of it as chili.

I don't think any food is pure. Traditions are forever changing.

What's mmj? Medical weed? I like the cities here in Florida, but can understand, it's not the right time to move here anyway, houses are overpriced right now and rent is too.

I changed my mind on marriage, it was never my dream but my now-husband really wanted us to be married, and it did help with his status at schools and stuff regarding my kids and mine with his kids, has streamlined a lot of stuff like signing up for benefits at work, I still think it's kind of silly to license relationships, but it's been a good experience overall.

Octavia Butler

NK Jemison

They build worlds more around the changes in people, and explore living systems more than mechanical.

I'm paid twice a month and they call it semi-monthly here though, husband is paid every two weeks and his company calls that biweekly.

I would never use bimonthly to mean twice a month, and haven't heard anyone use it that way in real life; but the only thing that happens twice a month for me is payroll, so it hasn't come up in conversation outside of that.

I guess I share in your outrage then.

Eh? Semi-monthly is twice a month. Bimonthly is every two months.

Semi-weekly is twice a week, biweekly is fortnightly, every two weeks.

They work the same.

I'm confused about the kid pick-up and your WFH days. Wouldn't it be easier to do that on a WFH day?

Have a meeting and allocate the work better and if you can, get help with cleaning or childcare. We get house cleaned to have weekends free, and my kids have done babysitting for other families so that the parents could get stuff done.

You are going to feel overworked with 4 kids, I've been there. It does get better as they get older. But if you are both working, use some of that money to buy back some of your time.

That is the way we had birthday parties too, and they are the best. Invite the whole family not just the kid. Nobody HAS to drink, and I didn't because hosting, but it's more hospitable to have adult beverages available. Often a "fancy drinks" area for the kids too, with colorful non alcoholic drinks and garnishes for them to create their own drinks.

So, so much better than a house full of kids all the same age. Kids running around in packs, adults chilling.

Yeah, it may eventually stick, though - my husband had a string of 2 year relationships, said things always just sort of fizzled out. So I told him no moving in together for 2 years, if we are still happy 2 years after moving in together THEN you can ask me to marry you. We are happy still, dozen years in. He says he knew when he met me. I was happy just to date and not have expectations, but it turned into the most functional and loving relationship of my life. And hot!

So some of it is really fitting together, I'm not sure if you need the infatuation, but do know people mistake it for love all the time. I do personally think you need some excitement, otherwise there's less motivation to stay together. But I didn't get such a rush at the beginning, right? It was more of a slowly building reveal.

Mostly just wanted to remind you that at this point you are reacting to a sort of made-up person in your head, you don't know her well enough to know her. Is nothing to be afraid of, it's normal normal, just something to stay aware of, and I was hoping it would help you to feel better about it.

You seem pretty self-aware, I think you will be fine, and also seem like a cool dude so I don't think you need to worry that this is the only person who'd be a good fit.

We have plenty of trans people here, and one of the bigger LBGT communities. Obviously we also have rednecks in the boonies, like the rest of the country but plenty of openly queer people here, and a big scene.

Now, if you are boycotting because of the tone at the top, that makes sense, I support you. But you don't need to worry about visiting if you want to, it's safe in the cities.

Depends whether you want to just relax in the warm bathtub of the Gulf of Mexico, or be freezing in the water of the Pacific with its dramatic and beautiful waves.