Furbag

Have they tried not taking handouts and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps?

I swear Biden is doing absolutely everything in his power to make his administration and the Democrats look as feckless and duplicitous as possible. All this bluster about saving democracy leading up to the election and he hasn't lifted a finger to protect it since November 6th, but he sure does jump at the chance to abuse his pardon power and sign laws with bonafide conservative horseshit like this in it.

This country is an absolute joke. If this is what we were hoping would stop the tide of fascist ideology, then we're doomed to suffer at the hands of spineless politicians who think compromise with the uncompromising is a winning strategy.

Meanwhile, in reality, they are terrified of letting Puerto Rico become a state because it might threaten their delicate gerrymandered hegemony in Congress by adding two more senators and one or more representatives. This "map" is the fever dream of a lead-poisoned, terminally MAGA moron.

I thought the same thing about the Trump trial, but they legitimately turned over rocks and found the most oblivious Americans living under them. There are evidently tons of people out there living in their own little bubble, completely untethered from the news media or even just casual conversations with strangers and probably have no idea who Luigi is right now. The news might not be able to reach them, but a jury summons from the state can, and the prosecution is going to hunt for these individuals specifically.

Based on what, exactly?

This is a Safeway, and those signs are at the ends of the aisle, so no, he didn't just conveniently crop out more aisle that says dairy. The dairy section is usually open air chillers, not closed refrigeration units like this.

Some Safeway stores are ancient and too small to carry all the product people expect to be able to find these days, so they put stuff in nutty locations like this from time to time.

Heard from a credible source he also killed JFK!

In the entire time I used Honey, I never once got a valid coupon code for literally anything. Pretty sure they scraped a ton of my browsing data though.

Yes, every family I've ever known has had a drawer with bulky oversized kitchen utensils and gadgets. The harder you try to organize these things, the more you will realize that you'd just end up with an entire drawer taken up by a single pizza cutter, garlic press, or zester. Theoretically, if you had enough storage space in your kitchen you could do that, but these things are used so infrequently that they either get shoved into one drawer which fully takes up that one space with disorganized chaos, or placed in a receptacle of some sort to sit on the countertop for when you need it, which is ugly and takes up then takes up the counter space instead.

Historians: "So during the Roman occupation of Cisalpine Gaul..."

X: "Cis alpine? What is this woke shit? You're banned!"

Keep in mind, he has an extremely demanding job. Five of them, in fact - CEO of Tesla, Neuralink, Boring, SpaceX, and X Formerly Twitter. And he manages to find enough time in the day to play Diablo 4 at the highest level and also advise the president elect on policy.

So either he's on amphetamines 24/7 to keep up with what I assume is a hellish workload even for companies that rarely need C-level input to function, or he's majorly full of shit and half asses all of his jobs and plays video games all day while boasting about what a successful hardworking guy he is and how he totally deserves that gorillion dollar benefits package.

Mexican Border Crisis hysteria in the next year

No, no, no, don't be silly!

The migrant caravans aren't scheduled to come until one month before the next midterm. We have at least two years before we hear about that one again.