BrownianMotion

As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.

He sees a guy at the bar and says “Hey I just had sex with your mum!”

They guy at the bar ignores him and walks away.

A few minutes later the drunk man goes over to the guy again and says, “I had sex with your mum, and it was great!”

Again, the guy ignores him walks away albeit angrily.

A few minutes later the drunk man goes up to the guy and says, “I just had the best sex ever with your mum!”

The guy, who has now had enough says, “Shut up dad! You’re drunk again!”

The driver was fined for undertaking.

I said “Geez mate, you think I’m on drugs? You're the one with the talking dog”

During the court hearing, I said "wait, I can explain everything".

The police have been working tirelessly to catch the thief.

but running in high heels is a nightmare.

Putin opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message.

370HSSV-0773H

Putin was baffled, so he sent the message to Lukashenko, and his aides had no idea either, so they sent it to the KGB.

No one could solve it at the KGB either, so a double agent sent it to the CIA, then the NSA. They also didn't know what it meant.

Finally, the CIA director sent the message to The Australian Military for help. Within a few seconds, they called back with this message:

"Tell that dumb wanker Putin he's holding the message upside down."

They're my Fosters parents.

(you're all gonna hate me for this one!)

a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Moldavan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

all go to a nightclub.

The bouncer stops them and says, I cant let you in without a Thai.

Honestly it wasn't the best way to find out about her new job.

I wish I'd never put it on now.