Asklemmy

I've been told that I'm a good leader. I refuse to get into corporate leadership and instead use those skills to organize unions

My cooking. I love to cook, be it simple meals or extravagant dishes, and everyone I know loves to eat my food - which is exactly why I'd never ever do it professionally. I really don't want to risk losing the enjoyment and relaxation I get from cooking. Being in the kitchen for an hour after i came home from work is my way to unwind after a long day.

I bake. I'm known for making birthday cakes for people.

I just made one November the 15th, and that night I was bombarded with "how much would you charge to bake one of these for-?"

Absolutely not. People are bastards. The instant my baking turns from "thoughtful gift" to something owed, I will be stuck with all the bullshit that entails. No thanks. Delicious, complex, mesmerizing bakes and absolutely zero strings attached thank you very much.

I fix stuff. I like fixing stuff. Cars, computers, cell phones, appliances, tvs, small motors, etc. It's all like a little challenge/puzzle to me. I like doing it. It's never been in my field of work, but I get asked all the time why I don't do any of it for $$$.

Well, because I want to keep liking it is why.

Cooking. I love to cook for my friends and family. I've been perfecting my homemade pizza for years. It's very good and I love to make it for guests.

I've had people say I should open a pizzaria, especially since the one good one in town shut down.

Fuck that.

For me it's playing music. I had awesome grades in HS and had a full ride, but I was a way better drummer than pretty much anyone I knew. I played in a bunch of bands, and was invited to join one of the more well-known local bands in my pretty big city. I ended up giving up my scholarship to go try and make it with them. We made a record in a nice studio and went on tour and it was a promising start. By the time I was 20 I had seen most of the US. But even though I loved touring, I hated having to play every night, no matter what I was feeling. Playing original music with my friends always used to make me feel better, but having to do it all the time made it stop having that healing affect on me. Instead of making me feel better it was just another obligation that I had to do, no matter how I was feeling.

I was devastated when I realized that I had nothing to help me through the hard days. And I had a lot of hard days. As it turns out, I had untreated PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and type 2 bipolarity. Music was very much one of my go to strategies, and without it my symptoms got way worse. So playing music professionally ended up increasing my symptoms and also got rid of my only successful strategy for living with my symptoms.

We ended up having to take an extended break, during which I went back to school and finished my degree. For the first time since I was 8 I didn't have my drums set up in my house. And for the first time since I was 15, I wasn't playing in a single band. Normally I played in multiple bands, because they only practice once a week, and there are 7 nights!! But now I wasn't playing at all. I had no desire to play. I went out on tour with my friend's band just to travel and help, I didn't play. And that was super fun, but I still had no desire to play

I lived like that for two miserable years before I slowly started playing again. But it's no longer my career, or even a dream of a career, like it used to be. It's way too important to me for me to ruin it by trying to get rich and live my rockstar dream. And now that I have actual rockstar friends, people who I played with who are in famous bands, I know what the life is like. And it's really not a fantasy. Those MOFOs work hard, and they're on the road for months and months at a time.

So that's my best skill, but I don't do it for a living. I've been playing in bands consistently my whole life, even as I went back to grad school, and then started my professional career as HS science teacher. But it's been mostly cover bands, which honestly pays way more than I used to make except for our very biggest shows. But it's not worth it and I'm just not willing to do it professionally. The first band I joined when I moved to my current state, we ended up getting a great reputation, and we ended up getting more and more shows. The other guys were doing this for a living, but I was just trying to have fun learning new songs and playing for people. Eventually I got tired and stopped, and swore off playing for money. This had been the ideal set up, playing with a really good friend, and it still got old. So I stopped playing for money. I did continue playing, but I just didn't accept payment, and also felt okay calling in if I just want feeling it that day. I gave up $400 bucks or so on one show when we filled up this one little venue where people paid $20 a head. It was a fundraiser for our little hippie church, so I just donated my portion. But for ten years I wouldn't accept any payment at all.

But it's hard to say no. The thing is I'm honestly really good. I can play really well in any style, and I'm fucking great with rock and especially fast/heavy rock. So anyone that physically hears me play, if they have a band or even know of someone who has a band, I get asked. I literally went 5 years without playing anywhere at all except for on the band room at the high school where I teach. But then I ended up getting pulled into giving drum lessons by the owner of the music shop where I would buy gear, because he wanted a drum teacher for his own son. And the world needs rock and roll. So I let myself be talked into giving lessons, but only how and when I wanted to. So I took a few students on, and we ended up becoming friends. But then of course one day he needed a drummer to fill in for his regular guy. And shove I give lessons at his place, he knows I have chops. I came to a couple rehearsals, learned their whole set list, and we played a few shows where all I have to do is show up with my throne, my sticks, and my book. I get there and everything is set up for me. I'm a total fucking prima Don, but they want me and I'm just not willing to sacrifice anything at all. It was fun, and they asked me if I'd book some more with them and I said sure, but before I knew it we we're doing 2-3 shows a week during the summers, which is NOT what I wanted to do with my summers off as a teacher! So I told them they could have me for one show and one rehearsal a month, and that's it. I'm still violating my rules, but playing once a month gives it enough time between playing the songs so that they don't hurt my brain anymore. Playing Stevie Wonder 3 times a week sucks. But playing it once a month is tolerable. And I like it when pretty women try to get me to notice them. I'm a single dad and I don't date, but I do like it when pretty women give me those intense stares while they're dancing. I swear watching a dude okay the drums while he makes you grind is definitely a lot of womens' thing. So it's sustainable, and technically I'm still doing it professionally, but really it's more of a hobby that I can get paid to perform and teach. (Teaching pays way more than performing, but I physically can't teach more than three lessons a day so there's no hope in it for me!)

Meanwhile I finally have my own band again, where we're writing our own songs. I know that the other players want to eventually play these songs, and I know people are going to like it because they always like it, and we're doing something that no one else around here is doing. So we're eventually going to have to play out. But I still have young kids, and I'm just not that into building a name. I'll eventually tour with my old band again, and I'll probably try to take this group on the road and play some big shows here if we ever build up a following with our recorded music (which we're definitely going to release.) But I don't want to play music for a living, and I don't think anyone should do professionally the one thing they really need and they they love more than anything else. If you can deal with it not doing what it used to do, then that's no problem. But if you depend on it for your happiness then you should probably not try to make it your whole life. I know there are people who can do that, but those people mostly either don't have a choice because it's the ONLY thing they can do, or else they have money enough to where they don't have to make money doing it and can still devote as much time as they want to it.

My music, songwriting. I've never once had the desire to make money from it. In fact, one of the things that killed my band is I discovered the bass player was charging a cover for what I had assumed were free shows and then keeping it.

https://github.com/Dakkaron/Fairberry

I keep getting asked if I'd sell these. But becoming a software engineer by trade has already ruined hobby programming for me, so I will not ever make that hobby into a job.

Writing. Specifically, tech writing. I've got an intuitive sense for it, but other than business communication and the occasional bit of internal documentation I don't have any desire to do it professionally.

I get along great with our tech writer, though, since I'm the only other person at the company who can hold a discussion about the Oxford comma.

Massage. I know that if I did it professionally it would become a chore and I would no longer want to massage the people I love.

Photography.

It's fun, but not something I want to do professionally or even as a side-gig.

Fucking

Electronics repair and manufacture. I do this sometimes professionally -- however my special talent is doing it with none of the right tools or parts. It's mostly hilarious and not useful at work, where I need to use the right parts so you can scale to manufacture.

I once fixed a DVD drive using a gas stove. A graphics card with a tube of toothpaste and some rubber bands. A Macbook with half a cardboard box. Today I built a microphone amplifier from a broken Android development board, a IC from a particle detector, and surface-mount resistors and capacitors from a dozen different things. I could probably work as an engineer in Kerbal Space Program :D

Love making complicated, beautiful cocktails for guests. Zero interest in being a bartender at a high-end cocktail bar until / unless I retire.

Argentine tango. I like doing it with my partner, but I have zero desire to compete or travel to Argentina or even seek out the best teachers available. I can lead strangers and have enough variety in vocabulary that I don't get bored. That's enough.

I love tinkering with computers. Building, fixing, upgrading... software, hardware, networking, it's all fun. I enjoy the troubleshooting process and the satisfaction that comes from solving a problem. I spent 20 years as an IT guy in the US Air Force and I enjoyed every minute of fixing computers while serving.

Now I'm recently retired and I could easily make 2-3x as much money working IT in the civilian sector, but... I just really enjoy doing it for fun. I don't want to go back into a corporate environment and be told how and when and what to fix or upgrade.

My wife and I are planning to build our "forever home" (the last home we ever plan to live in) and we're in the design phase right now. I can't wait to wire the place for modern computer systems. I'd like to build my own server suite in a cold basement room and then network the whole house so I can automate tasks anywhere in the house. Open all my curtains from an app on my phone, answer the door, play music in any room (or all rooms) through an intercom system, stream movies/TV shows/video games to any TV in the house, etc. I'm definitely building a giant theater room in my basement, at least big enough to hold a dozen people, maybe more.

I'm excited for the possibilities that wiring my own house present. I also want to make it upgradeable over time, in case better standards for technology come out. Maybe run all cables through PVC pipes in the walls, so I can easily push new cables through without having to tear apart the walls.

Yeah, I'm really enjoying retirement as a former IT guy. I could make more money going back to work, but then I'll have less time and freedom to engage in my hobbies. What's the point in having more money if you don't have the time to enjoy it? So I'm living off my govt pension now, which is more than adequate for me to live comfortably, and I'm just enjoying retired life.

Writing, specifically long prose. When there's a story that just has to be told and I feel it in the marrow of my bones I'll write and I'll love it.

If someone ever handed me a deadline, all joy would be lost. Some things just aren't meant to be a job for me and forcing the issue would only make me depressed and the writing abysmal.

There are a few, but teaching is a big one. I've tutored people in various subjects, and they usually tell me how good I am at it and that I'd be a great teacher. I have friends who are teachers, hard pass. Maybe if they made 6 figures, and parents/administration weren't absolute nightmares, but I've heard too much to even briefly consider it.

I'm told I'm a natural born salesman. I will eat my left testicle before I go into sales.

Music. I can play close to a dozen instruments with enough skill that I could sit in as a stand in player for a large variety of genres. I do everything in my power to avoid letting people around me know.

I make music as a way to meditate and relax. I can throw down a synthesizer drone and spend an hour+ noodling on the piano, guitar, cello etc without doing any recording or writing down stuff. I've got probably 100 or so short 4-12 bar ideas saved on my computer. I probably will never do anything with them but I like going back and rediscovering where I was musically/emotionally.

The dubstep phase was, in a word, terrible.

I had been involved with the labour board over a wrongful termination dispute. I made complaints about about an abusive workplace and was shitcanned as a result.

During the final settlement where the lawyers were fighting over what my settlement payment would be, my lawyer and I had a bit of a discussion revolving around mental health.

She suggested I should consider a move into mental health services as I was essentially writing off continuing my trade apprenticeship by this point. She noted that I am a good listener and have a very clear understanding of mental health. She even offered to get me in contact with those in the mental health field.

It's been heavily on my mind to go down that path but a part of me is intimidated. I've been able to help a few close friends who all experienced some heavy mental issues over the past couple years but these are people who I've become close to and am able to help them through a deep understanding of them.

I tend to get attached to people easily and I'm not sure how I'll be able to separate work thoughts from my own thoughts meant for my own time. What heavy burdens will make it home with me?

Would I be good at working in such a field? According to my lawyer and those closest to me, I'd be great. But what am I going to do about my own mental health if I follow that path path? I can barely handle children and I'm the biggest kid in my own life. It's already a monumental effort to keep myself fed and not spontaneously running into traffic.

Photography, I've done a handful of paid gigs but never again. Takes the fun out of it.

Right out of high school I got a job as a mechanic, something I loved doing as a hobby before and got real good at. It’s the customer, it’s like doing family IT work. “You changed my oil 4 months ago and now one of my headlights won’t work”. Between that sending out vehicles that declined a bunch of work. I swear we only held one plumbers van because it was so unsafe.

I still love working on my own cars. However I’ve refused to touch any family members or friends vehicles. Not worth it.

I like to draw portraits. I'm decent. I draw what I want when I want. Some people have told me to sell some of my drawings or even ask me to draw them. I don't want to do that cause: 1. I know I wouldn't enjoy it, and 2. There are MANY, MANY more people better than me out there who DO this for money. Go ask them