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Life's dumb. (self.depression_now)

submitted 1 year ago by qW7xXbu5J to c/depression_now

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Do people actually enjoy life? I've known, superficially, people that appear happy, but I have a suspicion it's all an elaborate act. Life's mundane, and boring. It's all the fucking same. Go anywhere on the planet, the people are all the same, doing all the same things, in slight variations.

Nature's an unimaginative joke. Clones of clones with variations. Much wow. Much spiraturality. Those giant rocks changed my life. That whale spoke to me personally. That tree healed me. Are people fucking serious? Are people so cognitively inept that being reminded that there's things outside themselves, alive or not, is a life affirming act?

I just want to disappear. The older I get the more dissapointed I become. There's nothing here that gives any sense of joy. Medication doesn't work. Therapies don't work. Self-aware life is hell. If anyone's happy or content their self-awareness must be sufficiently limited. Blah, blah, blah. Just rambling. I hate this. People who have children are the worst.

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[–] HonoraryMancunian 10 points 1 year ago

Do people actually enjoy life?

Yes, but they're not depressed

[–] MedicPigBabySaver 6 points 1 year ago

Sorry you're feeling down. I'm actually happy, not just acting.

I live a 2 minute walk to a beach. I like my job where I'm out and about all day, not in an office.

I have a GF and a great group of friends. Most of them I've known for about 40 years. We still hang out. We actually had a crew of 8 people go visit Nashville a few weeks ago. First time for most of us. The amount of fun music was fabulous.

Wish I could provide some honest support to you and let you know the world is not completely fake.

[–] Kyrgizion 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How old are you?

I could have written this. I'm 40. I've never enjoyed my life. I see it as something to be endured. Even though I "should" be happy.

I guess some people are just born broken.

[–] qW7xXbu5J 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm in my early 30s, and likewise, never liked life. I've listened to people and they always say "it gets better". I doubt it, but even if it did, when? What even gets 'better'? How? When you've been crippled by age does the universe pull back the curtains to reveal meaning, or floods your body with feel-good chemicals?

[–] Glitchington 3 points 1 year ago

Felt very similar all my life, turned out I was far more neurodivergent than I had assumed. Doesn't make things any easier, but made me realize living in a world built for neurotypical folks is a special kind of hell. At least I've got cannabis and cool video games to hyperfixate on, that shit keeps me going.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really feel this. I have good days - intermittently - but right now, overwhelmingly, life is just not worth it. but I have a wonderful partner, and two gorgeous little fur babies, who both male things a little bit more bearable and also give me an incentive to stick around... a little longer.

one day at a time.

right now my job is just awful, though, causes me debilitating anxiety which apparently may be causing me a trauma response. it's hard to handle, but there's the prospect of a docent job that I might handle better coming up next week.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm in a similar situation to you with my wife, dog, and cat. I just quit pharmacy school because I couldn't take it anymore and now I don't know what direction to go in. I totally get OP as well, I've had to be told many times by my wife and others that people do genuinely like life and that I just can't understand that because I'm depressed, but meds sure ain't helping. I can't seem to get over the utilitarian algebra of how [good/pleasure]-[bad/pain]>0 could possibly be true, if you know what I mean. Which is funny because I'm not even a utilitarian, but for myself it somehow applies.

Good luck getting that new job.

[–] F_Haxhausen 3 points 1 year ago

No. People do not really enjoy life.

There is an important difference between “Life” and “things we find in Life” and people enjoy certain things they find in life.

Like music and movies and sex and food. But Life itself? Life itself is a nightmare, and so people use those things they find inside Life to hide from Life itself.

The philosopher Julio Cabrera talks about this difference between “Life itself” and those “things found inside Life.” He points out how it is impossible to enjoy “Life itself” because it is Structural Discomfort. But we use those “things inside of Life” to try to fight against “Life itself”….

Shit. I had not thought about Julio Cabrera’s philosophy in a long time. Now I’m depressed. I go to sleep.