this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
1117 points (98.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

32588 readers
1646 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
1117
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
all 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] rtxn 117 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"There was an emergency and power was temporarily cut to the card reader terminals, and now none of them work. We need to get to the server room to reboot the access control server, but it's behind a card-only door."
"How much do we want to get in?"
"Very much."
"Stand back."

And that's how I ended up busting down the server room's door.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Never put a locked door in the way of the fire brigade by the way, they will get in.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did someone email us about a fire?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

FIRE! FIRE! HELP ME!

hope this gets to you soon! best wishes, Maurice Moss

[–] rtxn 8 points 1 year ago

The door doesn't lock anymore, so we've got that covered.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Just don't end up busting into the servers haha!

[–] WhipTheLlama 72 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm currently working with a client that doesn't have a health endpoint or any kind of monitoring on their new API . They say monitoring isn't needed because it will never go down.

Naturally it went down on day two. They still haven't added any "unnecessary" monitoring, insisting that it will never go down.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you never know when it goes down to you it never goes down

Think smarter, not harder

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Schrödinger's status

[–] WaxedWookie 30 points 1 year ago

This kind of hubris may be an opportunity for contractual fuckery...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I never wrote an api that had a health system. Could you help me understand why that matters and how that helps ?

[–] hansl 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just have an endpoint in your API (like /health) that doesn’t do anything but return “ok”.

So if your database goes down, your filesystem is full, etc, that endpoint will always return “ok” with HTTP 200. That way you can setup a ping monitoring service that will trigger an alarm if the process itself is down.

You of course need more pinging for the database server etc. But at least you know which service is down instead of “the whole website is down and we don’t know which parts”.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Health checks are the only reason I've used 204 no content responses, so there's that too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That's because you don't write bugs. Health check are only needed when you're planning on having bugs in your system. Instead of doing monitoring I prefer to spend a bit more time fixing all the bugs and then my systems never break so no monitoring is needed. Of course the downside is lack of job security. They can fire me and the system will just continue running forever, no support needed. If you add some bugs they cannot fire you because someone needs to keep fixing the broken system.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do I keep forgetting to do this? I just need to set a reminder, thank you for reminding me! I'll add this to the body of the post

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can also set it as the URL parameter.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Well then it would link to the webpage, not the actual image right?

[–] greyhathero 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Thanks every couple of months I see an xkcd and think haven't read that in a while, then I get to go catch up. Today was a good day

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Haha! Same!

People argue about repost bots. I'm happy when I see a comic I haven't thought about in years get upvotes and more people discover it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

after several years it's fine, but not two days after the initial post

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I do the exact same thing

[–] Quindius 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why you have failover; you never have to fight terrorists to keep your contractual uptime agreements!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

tf2 engineer was just a sysadmin trying to create a good failover

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Now I have an access point, ho ho ho!"

[–] Subverb 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Time for shenanigans