The Onion nails how weird DeSantis is. He is socially awkward and a fascist.
DeSantis reminds me of those 2 aliens that ran for president on the Simpsons Halloween episode.
this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2023
438 points (97.6% liked)
The Onion
4287 readers
1647 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
"You have to vote for one of us, it's a two party system!" That episode gets more relevant every election.
With out Ranked Choice Voting If you vote third party you only help the other party win. And you'd need a Congress that would support the third party president, otherwise they would just block everything he tried to do.
Republicans right now are funding RFK to get Democrats to vote 3rd part so they could win.
I don't understand which left-leaning voters he's pulling in. I despise the Democratic Party and should be an easy target to peel away from their numbers, but RFK Jr. is a joke. Propping up a progressive spoiler candidate would be far more effective on me.
It may be his name. Even RFK's family is telling people not to vote for him.
I also vote for progressives in the primaries and then vote for whoever wins the Democratic primary. I wish Biden wasn't running. He is too old. He did some good things while he has been president and save us from Trump and a Republican Christian Nation. But Biden should have had the wisdom to stop after one term. Now it looks like I will be voting for him for president again. We'll see what will happen in primaries.
If they can railroad Hillary over Bernie, there is no way in hell the DNC would allow ANYONE to spoil their centrist pick.
I voted for Bernie twice in the primaries and the Hillary and Biden in the presidential election.
The young people didn't turn out to vote for Bernie. They would post support in social media but then didn't vote. It was very disappointing because Bernie would have been a great progressive president.
You can thank Republicans and lazy Democrats for failing to educate the young on the election process. The Dems actively fought against Bernie in the primary, too. There was no way they were going to tell young people to go upset their darling pick.
We voted. Democrats didn't tell me not to vote for Bernie and even if they did, I would still vote for Bernie, and did.
He didn't get enough votes to win either primary. I voted for Bernie on both.
They didn't fight Bernie by openly opposing him (at least outside of individuals). That'd be political suicide regardless of how people felt about Bernie.
They snubbed him by royally screwing with the primary process. They pulled Republican-like tactics to keep people off the registry, misinformed, and with fewer places to vote. They purposefully planned few debates, and in bad time slots for viewership. Several news organizations were specifically working with Hillary to give her baby-brained questions and to ask Bernie rather rude ones. If you're thinking, "what Republican tactics?", then you're demonstrating why they do it: It's not obvious until after you follow the bread crumbs.
Like a RICO case but less obvious than Trump's, and how many people STILL deny Trump's RICO?
The 2016 DNC primaries were not rigged. We all voted for who we wanted. I went out and voted for Bernie. The DNC did want Clinton to win the primaries and she had friends and plenty of money and backers to run. Bernie had money from people like me and me telling people why to vote for Bernie. Hillary was more famous and more of a front runner so she did get more attention. But Bernie had a great message and grassroots support. But all that comes down to votes. Bernie didn't get enough to win the primaries.
I don't know what you mean by "keeping people off the registry". Everyone who was legal to register could and could vote.
Here is a Vox news article on it if you want to read more.
Like I said: Just because they weren't doing things so blatantly illegal and obvious does not make everything that transpired acceptable. If you think the DNC didn't work VERY hard to have their thumb on the scale for Hillary, then you simply did not pay enough attention.
Like I said: If you ask, "what corruption?" THAT WAS THE ENTIRE POINT!! To fly under the radar. Remember, the news themselves wanted Hillary to win.
I said that Hillary had many people supporting her, she had lots of campaign money, the DNC wanted her to win, she had many famous friends that supported her, but that doesn't mean the DNC primary was rigged. No votes were changed and people could vote for who they wanted.
It like saying the election was rigged because my opponent was more popular and had more people vote for them.
Hillary wasn't my choice for the primaries, but I did vote for her in the election to try to save the supreme court from going right wing. And Hillary got more votes than Donald Trump (about 3 million more) and didn't call the election rigged. Trump did even after he won.
Like I said: You are buying the narrative. Just because no one went to jail for it doesn't mean it didn't happen. If you had half a brain, you'd realize A LOT of that stuff straight up goes unpunished AND unreported. Again, the MSM wanted Hillary to win. They weren't about to show you their scheming.
A media company endorsing a candidate is not illegal. It is done all the time. And Hillary had a lot of them wanting her to be president.
Bernie has some too, but not as many as Hillary.
Unless votes were changed or people were denied the right to vote the DNC primary wasn't rigged.
Thinking there is a law for the private media companies that force them to be fair is not correct. And them favoring a candidate is not against the law.
"It's not illegal"
See? You're making excuses, again. Exactly like I said: They did it that way BECAUSE it's not obvious and can be excused by those who don't care if the reality of the situation is Bernie got screwed by an organized effort by those further to the right than him.
Ok. I hope you vote in every election, even if the primaries are "rigged".
Personally I prefer range voting but I'll take what I can get.
I think ranked choice is the more palatable option for the masses, although it would be lovely having so much control over my vote.
"How do you do, fellow pissers?"
So, um, what's the shelf for? (Is it for when you're so well hydrated, your pisses become so long and boring you need an elbow rest?)
To put your glass of beer (cause of piss) on.
Huh. The decadence of the New World.
If the shelf has a slope, then the pub has (or had) a problem with cokey punters
Real talk, is the header photo a real photo or AI generated? Like…why is DeSantis having a photo-op at a urinal, is that a regular occurrence in the states?
I’m not trying to be cheeky, I’m actually confused about it lol
It's a satire site so I am almost positive it's highly edited.
Oh my god, I ate the onion.
I didn’t even realize what community this was, I just saw the thumbnail on all, my bad!
Who can blame you, really?
This was just barely too over the top to be real, but it was close. Such is the bizarre world we live in.
Umm. That’s how sex happens in the bathroom.
you know what else I like? Shootn’ a fat load. Don’t you? Man, wish I could shoot a fat load right now, yaknowatimean? strokes cock Hey, why don’t we shoot one right now. Just to get the pressure out. Here, let me help……..
Aaaaand, REPUBLICAN GAY SEX! Woo!
Happens all the time, ask Larry.
Are you suggesting that Pudding Fingers has a wide stance in the men's room?
oh, I’m sorry. How did my dick get under the bathroom stall. Golly, a gay could have a lot of fun under here, haha. Let’s pretend hahaha ha ha.
A perfect ending:
At press time, DeSantis also professed his love for shitting
Love how they have the camera in the bathroom 🤣
What an oddly staged photo. Note how desantis is standing back so the other dude can be in shot.
No one pees like this.
Gonna need a /s or something because I can't tell if you are serious
You have to forgive Ron. He's used to having enough room to have a tied up prisoner in front of hm when he pisses. Urinals make him claustrophobic.