this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I have occasional bathroom issues caused by food sensitivities (damn your delicious yet toxic nature, nacho cheese).

These bathroom issues involves pooping a bunch of times in one day. The frequent pooping and wiping severely irritate my poor butthole, aggravating hemorrhoids and anal fissures.

I know lots of people around here swear by the miracle of bidets, but before I start shopping around, I'm wondering if there are any naysayers out there who just don't like bidets, along with why that's the case.

Bonus question: how do I use a bidet? Most of the instructions I've found are a bit delicate about the details. Anyone want to give me a detailed description of how and what to do?

My swollen, bloody anus thanks you.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I just don't like the way it feels, but that might be due to personal sensory issues. My family uses bidets and there was a time when the seat heater malfunctioned and would heat up on its own, which was inconvenient and unpleasant in the summer but nothing serious.

[–] Kinglink 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Let me put it this way.

If you don't like your bidet, you don't trigger it. If you like it, you enjoy it.

My wife and I enjoy it quite a bit. To the point that when I used the other bathroom, there's been at least one case, where I've cleaned up in there, went into the other bathroom and got a better clean.

As for "how to use it" It will depend on the bidet on how to use it, but for ours you turn the knob, spray your special areas (There's two directions to turn, as a guy I don't notice a major difference, but I imagine a woman might, as one spray feels a bit "longer", but not to the point where I think it'll hit everything down there" You get jet water on your bum, I tend to move around a little to make sure it's getting the whole area, then turn it off. Then wipe (I use toilet paper).

You wipe more to "Dry" than to "Clean" which is a lovely feeling.

There's two must buys in the bathroom, the squatty potty and the bidet. I would say the Squatty potty is more important (I miss it more) but the bidet is getting up there.

[–] snailwizard 2 points 1 year ago

Get a washlet brand bidet if you can. Have had mine several years now and it still works great. I miss it when I’m not at home

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This might sound gross, but in our culture, we use a bottle of water and our hands to rinse and wipe. can't get any cleaner than that. and yes, we ofc wash our hands thoroughly afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's not gross at all, just unfamiliar to many of us.

Could I ask, would a bidet be comfortable for you to use or would you prefer a pot or bottle of water in any case?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Indian/southeast Asian cultures people have rules for that - you only use your left hand to wash your butt and only use your right hand for food.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Same here, but ...
I'm a lefty... so there's that 😅

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I do have a bidet, kind of... it's one of those attachments you assemble onto the toilet seat. And I surely do prefer it bc of the convenience.

When I'm on vacation thou, I get myself a bottle.

In public toilets, I wetten some toilet paper beforehand and use that after I'm finished dry-wiping.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know you're not wrong, I just don't think I could ever get my hand involved in that. I've seen portable ones, that are what you describe. I've also seen what look like the sprayers we have on our kitchen sinks, all the way to the crazy Toto ones that are part of the actual toilet itself.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's really not any different than washing off mud from your skin.

Also, before we got old enough to do it ourselves, our moms used to rinse our butts after we had finished pooping.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know. I logically do. I get it. BUT there is a huge mental block for me on that one.

FWIW I wasn't trying to be rude, or an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

All good, mate! 😂

[–] ThisIsNecessary 1 points 1 year ago

I have long nails so I have no idea how that would work for me. And what do you do in a public toilet? I'm imagining a lot of poopy hands touching doors! Nothing wrong with the way you do it if it works for you though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Since my question on bidet use for women was answered here, what about for obese people? Would using a bidet make things easier or more difficult? I see a lot here about shifting your weight and all that but I wonder if this is feasible for someone who is 100lbs + overweight.

[–] morphballganon 0 points 1 year ago

I only use my bidet if I had a very soft movement. I find if I use it after a harder one, it causes irritation (I use a wet wipe instead).

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