Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
This year, I started a campaign of Geist: The Sin-Eaters set in Washington DC.
GtS is a game about interacting with ghosts and laying them to rest. (For example, by bringing their killer to justice)
So my search history has been:
So I’m on a list now…
I definitely got so wrapped up in searching for images for my game that I didn't think until afterwards about the fact that I was searching for "children prisoner sweatshop."
I believe the proper way to signal to the government monitors that you're just a nerd and not a serial killer is to simply add "5e” to the end of the search qiery (or whatever other edition or game system you're using). Because people involved in cyber monitoring are all nerds too so they'll recognize the lingo. Heck, if your search looks interesting enough they might even make up an alias and ask to join your game.
One night, someone cover my head with some kind of bag and make me unconscious.
Then I wake up.
They uncover my face, I am awake on some kind of government facility. The shadow of ventilation fan cast on the steel table.
There are 4 men in black sit around the table. One walk up to me and untie me.
The oldest man in the table said
“Welcome to special top secret FBI D&D” “According to your internet history I find your campaign the most fun so far, Please run the game for us”
OHHH FOR FUCK SAKE FBI STILL MAKE ME A FORVER DM.
I was facing a weird vampire dragon lord that was projecting and using his blood as a weapon and shield. He was in the process of using it to suffocate the party. In a fit of desperation, I googled "percent of water that makes up blood" and after seeing it was sufficiently high, I presented this prompt to the DM:
SO: we all know that blood is mostly water. In fact, it's x% of it (can't quite remember the amount...) So with that, I said I cast create or destroy water at 4th level to destroy 40 gallons of water from the blood
DM lets me, then says he has to roll some dice.
After a considerable amount of dice rolling sounds, he announces that the entire left side of the vampire went limp, and he fell out of the sky, dying rapidly. I saved the party by destroying some water as a 17th level encounter.
It's like ten lbs, right? ...don't ask me how I know that.
5-11 lbs, according to Wikipedia, so yeah. Maybe 8, if you want a mid-range number
Time to use another search provider, lest you want Google to be recommending body parts for sale in your search results for the foreseeable future.
I just tried... and funnily enough I got a full table with a lot of body parts.
About 5 pounds iirc. Don't ask
Some of my favorites are from programming: " How to forcibly kill ophaned child" and "kill all children of parent".
I recently searched for the weight of human skin, and whether it makes good leather. The answers, btw, are "about 9 pounds," and "yes," respectively.
My odd searches come from discord conversations. Yes, my conversations are like that.