this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] jqubed 163 points 1 day ago (2 children)

So was he saying he didn’t need to be paid anymore to be his friend or the friendship money was past due and the account needed to be settled for the friendship to continue?

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"We need to talk. Your parents haven't paid the friendship money yet. Now I'm not an unreasonable person but..."

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Subscriptions really are taking over the whole world.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 day ago

Or he said it because he was done waiting for his next pay check.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 day ago

Spoiler: he turned out to be Elon Musk

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 day ago

Damn that are some horrible parents. Glad its just fake and gay

[–] rtxn 74 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I've never understood this obsession with massive, flashy, expensive birthday parties with hired entertainers and dozens of invitations. Is it an American thing? Do other cultures have this?

[–] pennomi 38 points 1 day ago

Lots of cultures have big parties for specific birthday milestones, eg Bar Mitzvahs and Quinceañeras.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago

massive, flashy, expensive birthday parties with hired entertainers and dozens of invitations

It just sounds like they invited their whole class. That's dozens of invitations for sure but doesn't really make it anything else.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Personally I prefer my birthdays to be mostly the same as any other day, I might use it an excuse to treat myself, but otherwise I really don't care for it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I'm with you on this. There are only 3 people I care to even acknowledge my bday, my gf, mother, and father. hell some people have known me 20 - 30 years have no idea when my bday is

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago

I (non-american but western country) had "large" parties way back in primary school (around 5 to 10 y.o.), because at that point everyone was just little kids and so there were no cliques or anything like that, so it would be impolite not to invite your whole class - but after that point no, it would usually be like 5 people at maximum for a bit of a chill hangout.

[–] Serinus 15 points 1 day ago

Hired clowns or magicians aren't really a thing outside of movies, afaik.

One or two big birthday parties growing up is pretty common. Not every year. I had one for my 16th.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

I am east asian, and I never had big birthday parties when I was a kid. Parents would give us a bit of money, I would have like four friends to hang out at a mall, watch a movie, and grab some dinner.

But there are kids who have big parties, but I feel like they are just cos-playing middle age asian male gatherings, large table, lazy susan, bunch of "friends" who don't even talk that much, and toast here and there. Pretty ridiculous things to do for 10-15 years old.

My birthday has since went downhill, my parents are busy and I am busy, in high school I barely had cakes for birthday. But now I made sure to have a little cake for every birthday, so it is all good :)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Fake or not, pretty sure this happens from time to time.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I remember reading something, like 20ish years ago, about a woman from a wealthy family in NYC, that is a wildly paranoid adult, because her mom basically paid everyone to be her friend, planned, and paid for, their social events, and did so until she found out in her mid 20s. It wasn't even because she was unpopular and lonely. This started when she was a toddler. Her mom just wanted complete control of everyone she interacted with, and what they did, as much as she possibly could. When she found out she just mentally imploded.

[–] Jimmycakes 28 points 1 day ago

I went to a kids party in middle school. I was the only one to come. His parents gave me like $40 on my way out. As a kid I had no idea what the fuck was going on so I just took the money.

Doesn't matter had cake.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago

Friendship subscription services just means anon’s parents were ahead of their time.