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How is the division of labor going in your households? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Got out of my last relationship for this reason (amongst other things). I was the everything person - cook, accountant, maid, landscaper, scheduler, fun planner, etc. It didn't start that way of course - just little acts of service out of love that became the expectation over time. Are things more equitable in your relationships, or are there any women who are where I was at? I'm still scratching my head wondering if I bear some of the blame for setting myself up that way and trying to get some good perspective for the next one!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

My relationships have not been like that. It all depends on the people involved. Anyway, you did not make the other person take your actions for granted, and you did not make them endorse stereotypes about who should do what in a household.

[–] Saraphim 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don’t want to talk about it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope you are doing ok. If you are in my old situation, know that you aren't alone.

I'm casually observing a lot of this with friends. Met a very accomplished lady recently who shifted from working in the investment banking sector into getting her licensing and a private practice to be a therapist. She worked her ass off with education and multiple part-time jobs to get her to where she's at. Shockingly, she is a mommy-wife to a guy who doesn't want to commit to marriage.

[–] Saraphim 1 points 1 year ago

I think we are seeing it everywhere. Really seeing it. Some of us are worse off than others but I know of very few equal hetero relationships, my own included.

[–] Saraphim 3 points 1 year ago

I caulked a bathtub on my lunch break yesterday. That’s pretty much how it’s going.