At a white tablecloth local bistro, this woman literally picked up her plate and licked it clean. She also was having such hilariously weird conversations about alien abductions that I got an uncontrollable case of the giggles and had to go sit in the car while my SO paid the check.
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy
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Aside from the likelihood of this outing my account, I once had a first date at a renowned noodle house in town, and the surprise rarity of the single table in the front window (converted Victorian, alcove). We order, make small talk, I think it's going great โ until movement in the corner of my right eye out the window draws me to watch, in the middle of her sentence, a full-grown adult male climb onto the hood of the parallel parked car and proceed to empty his thrice-cursed bowels onto it like he was putting out a chemical fire.
I recall being unable to look away and catching her attention drift toward my view at the same time the waiter arrived with our lunches, only to table them with an "Uhm. Well." and ghost.
So, not exactly "at another table", but the whole place has front row seats, so ๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ
I'm so confused at the mechanics of this. He climbed on top of the hood? And then what on top of the hood? That seems like quite a feat and also very messy and also why??? I have so many questions, many of which only the shitting man could answer.
This only outs you if there's a single incident of this ever across all of the Victorian noodle houses in America presumably, which I doubt is the case considering gentrification and such
It's funny to me when people think Lemmy is like a small town.
Like sure not many people use it relatively speaking, but that also means most people are going to be spread so far and wide that the chances of coming across someone in your town is extremely slim.
There's someone on lemmy from my building. It's only about 350-400 units.
That's a big building. I think the biggest apartment building in my city is maybe 100 units? Mine is only like 25.
This reminds me. Years ago as a teen I joined a relatively small forum. I got weirded the fuck out when someone on there happened to live in the exact same small town I did. I've moved across the country since then but we are still online friends lol.
I raise. Szechuan.
Usually I get annoyed at assuming a particular culture but this one is unequivocal. Muricans win this easy.
After finishing his food, an old guy was cleaning his teeth with the laminated menu card
I always assume that the menu card is filthy but I never even considered it may have gems from someone flossing with it. ๐คฎ
Edit: I meant germs but gems could work in the sarcastic sense.
He was casual about it too as if it was a normal thing to do.
I wonder what his wife thinks.
This made me laugh.
An elderly couple sat next to us, and the man sent his elk chop back twice because it was โtoo seasoned.โ The second time they put no seasoning on it for him, but he still claimed that it had โthe seasoning from the pan.โ He then proceeded to order salmon instead (with no seasoning) and complain loudly the whole time. No tip for the waitress.
For context, this was a nice restaurant at Crater Lake in Oregon. My husband also ordered the elk chop, and said it was the best meal heโs ever had. We tipped the waitress double and had a great laugh with her about the whole situation after the elderly couple left.
A couple sitting at a table where the seats were a bench and not chairs. Even though they were trying to be discreet, it became obvious at one point that he was rubbing her crotch and she his. I don't think they ever realized that some people in the restaurant noticed it
Uh, no, they definitely knew, that's the point.
guy next table had a sizzling bulgogi plate, mmm
Oh my god! What happened to it? Did you change your order to the same thing?