this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
682 points (96.3% liked)

tumblr

3404 readers
493 users here now

Welcome to /c/tumblr, a place for all your tumblr screenshots and news.

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Must be tumblr related. This one is kind of a given.

  4. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.

  5. No unnecessary negativity. Just because you don't like a thing doesn't mean that you need to spend the entire comment section complaining about said thing. Just downvote and move on.


Sister Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (12 children)

I remember. And what it taught me is that in the eyes of society at large I wasn't a real person until I was 21. It also taught me that society may PUNISH adults who try to treat people under 21 as though they're real human beings. You see, that's (not really) "GROOMING". Also, in any case other than violent criminality, any action a human being takes under the age of 18 is attributable to their guardians, "because they don't understand what they were doing". But the acts of violent criminality? Tried as an adult "because they clearly had to have understood what they were doing".

Look. I hate it, but: we treat children like second class citizens, like pets, like slaves, because it's dangerous to do otherwise. Children are a fucking minefield of legal grey areas and drastically accelerated consequences. The shit you and I live through on a daily basis gets brushed off as "that's just life" but if it happens to a fifteen year old "ARE YOU CRAZY THEY'RE ONLY A CHILD". And I'm not so sure I'd be able to meaningfully or successfully argue against that if I ever found myself in a position where I'm found culpable for someone of that age group.

Gods help me I think I'd rather die than have children of my own, but if I ever did, I'd have to be honest with them about all the terrible features of the society in which we live:

"To me you're a person, and if you ask anyone else you're a person, but if the shit ever went down the law would treat you as though you are a pet. I want you to feel secure in your privacy, in your autonomy, in your possession of material objects, but if anything happens that forces the law to cast its glaring gaze upon our lives they have the power to take everything from both of us.
"It is NOT your fault, but nevertheless we are both hostages until you are emancipated either by the clock running out or by legal declaration. I tell you this not to demoralized you but to prepare you. I do not want you to roll over; I would hope that you might find some way instead to steal your resolve. But the fact is, the society in which we live creates a toxic power dynamic between us. They stand above us, point at me, and command that I must be an adversary to you lest THEY need to step in and become your adversary, and they will be much more painful to deal with than me. This world is a prison and has forced upon me the role as YOUR warden, and if I fail to perform that role to the satisfaction of the authorities, they WILL punish us both.
"I need you to be vigilant. I need you to take care around me. I need you to minimize our household's exposure to liability. But as long as you do that, I will endeavor to stay out of your business. As long as I am not provided a motive upon which I am forced to act, I would like to never have to go into your room or go through your personal effects. I need plausible deniability so that I do not haver to LIE at a jury trial when a judge turns to me and asks 'and you knowingly let this happen under your own roof?' - and even then it's almost equally damning if the legal system has any excuse to accuse of me 'you didn't know this was happening right under your nose!'. But until or unless our camouflage is compromised, I will ensure that you have access to shelter, sustenance, privacy, and dignity."

And if your reaction to the prospect of admitting all this to "just a child" is revulsion and dread... THAT very reaction is why we don't treat children like people.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

And what it taught me is that in the eyes of society at large I wasn't a real person until I was 21. It also taught me that society may PUNISH adults who try to treat people under 21 as though they're real human beings. You see, that's (not really) "GROOMING".

🚩

Grooming has a pretty widely understood meaning. If you believe you've been incorrectly accused of that please take a moment to reflect on why that might be.

Edit: it's been pointed out to me the "groomer" has be co-opted (cynically I'd say deliberately)

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] idiomaddict 1 points 1 day ago

My dad treated me like that. After my mom died, my dad treated me like a small adult over whom he had no authority for the entirety of my teenage years, didn’t go through my room, didn’t tell me what to do, but tried to reason with me and convince me.

It didn’t work out well, because I was a child. I was nowhere near mature enough to handle that responsibility (my siblings and I were three stereotypes of too much freedom when we were younger- a recovering alcoholic, a born again Christian, and a kleptomaniac) and it made me feel unloved and like a burden. He does love me and was living the golden rule, but it turns out it’s not universally applicable.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] Mango 4 points 1 day ago

Kids seem to very quickly run you over if you treat them like people unless they think you're cool AF.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I was working as a flight instructor in my early 20's. I'd occasionally get "So, how long have you been...flying?" from new students I was meeting for the first time. "Oh, since about 9 this morning" was my usual response.

That shit usually stopped after about 20 minutes in the air. They'd try level turns or even leveling off at altitude and slosh all over the sky, then I'd hook a pinkie on the stick* and the plane would magically straighten right out. You could feel the moment they realized "Oh, this kid genuinely is qualified for this job," and man was that satisfying. Youth does not equal useless.

*This plane had a single stick in between the seats, and for training an extension would be added above the grip so the student and instructor can hold the controls at the same time. It meant if I touched the stick students usually saw me do it.

[–] kometes -1 points 1 day ago
[–] _number8_ 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

all this bullshit about taking their phones away...they have to wake up at 7am for school and be there all day, they can't even have one bit of joy? they can't do banter during class or record a lecture or look stuff up? why are we acting like school has to be strict because it has to seem strict

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

The older I get the more I think school and college are the way they are for aesthetics more than effective education. And having gone back to college after earning a flight instructor certificate has convinced me at least some professors haven't so much as looked up the word "learn" in a dictionary.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 day ago

Not if I abort them first

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›