this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024

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Kickass Women

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Addressing some of the issues this community has (self.kickasswomen)

submitted 4 weeks ago by KickassWomen to c/kickasswomen

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I want to address two issues facing this community.

Firstly, I need to get better at communicating with all of you regarding the state of this community. I have a bad habit of going for long periods of time without communicating and I need to improve on this.

Lastly, I'm sure that those of you who follow this community have realized that I delete certain posts after making them. This is because I have a personal unsaid rule: if a post only gets around 5 upvotes or less after 2-3 hours OR if I think that a post will not get a respectable amount of upvotes, I'll delete it out of respect to the person whose content was posted. Unfortunately, I think that doing this has created a sense of mistrust—why would anyone upvote any post if there's a good chance that it will get deleted? I don't know how to resolve this issue and I would appreciate any input you may have.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

If a post gets ONE upvote, that means someone liked seeing it, and that it was therefore worth posting.

Scratch that, if someone posted it, that's already one person who thought it was neat enough to share.

Who cares whether you get one upvote, or a hundred? How is "only" a few upvotes not respectable?

Unless it got drowned in downvotes, things turned out net-positive.

I'd be more inclined to consider the way you delete "unsuccessful" posts disrespectful. "Mercy-killing" posts that aren't up to snuff is kinda fucked up.

How is "unless a minimum threshold of people actively approve, you don't get to be here" a respectful way of doing things?

[–] KickassWomen -4 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

If a post gets ONE upvote, that means someone liked seeing it, and that it was therefore worth posting.

Ideally, I agree with you; however, humans are emotional beings and getting a low number of upvotes can hurt people's feelings.

Who cares whether you get one upvote, or a hundred? How is “only” a few upvotes not respectable? ...“Mercy-killing” posts that aren’t up to snuff is kinda fucked up.How is “unless a minimum threshold of people actively approve, you don’t get to be here” a respectful way of doing things?

Some women get offended if their posts don't get a respectable amount of upvotes (it makes them feel like they're not beautiful or attractive imho) and then they stop communicating with me so to prevent that from happening, I delete the low-upvote posts.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

I get your logic.

I think it's wrong.

I think that in an attempt to spare some feelings, you're doing something which can hurt them even worse.

[–] KickassWomen 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think that in an attempt to spare some feelings, you’re doing something which can hurt them even worse.

Out of curiosity, how so?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I thought I was fairly clear?

Think about it. How would you feel if you knew posts featuring you kept being removed because they weren't "popular enough".

You say it's becase you don't want the relevant person to suffer feelings of inadequcy, but if I knew what you were doing, YOU would be the one making me feel that the most.

If my post got removed because it "only" got five upvotes, I'd have a hard time not taking that personally. And I'd feel talked down to and patronized if you told me you did it because you'd wanted to "spare my feelings".

[–] KickassWomen 1 points 3 weeks ago

I thought I was fairly clear?

I saw your response in my inbox and forgot about your previous replies. My bad.

I understand what you're saying and I need to think things over.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think you might be overthinking things. I have a bunch of communities of my own. I'm pretty terrible about posting. I have on my to-do list to setup some RSS feeds so I can start posting some current events content, but I Haven't gotten around to it. Best posts get maybe 40 upvotes tops. Whatever. I'm not here for upvotes, I'm here for interesting discussions of topics I enjoy. Someone posted the other day trying to figure out what the family dinner in Close Encounters of the Third Kind consisted of. I must have spent two hours debating people, and scrubbing through the 4K Director's cut to see what I could determine, because this meal was like taken right out of my childhood, plus it's a fabulous movie, and I have been planning a rewatch. I have no idea how many upvotes I got on anything, and I don't care. I just really enjoyed the deep nerd dive, and subsequent conversations. (I'm also a big movie guy.)

[–] KickassWomen -3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I have no idea how many upvotes I got on anything, and I don’t care. I just really enjoyed the deep nerd dive, and subsequent conversations. (I’m also a big movie guy.)

The problem is that some women get offended if their posts don't get a respectable amount of upvotes and when that happens, they stop communicating with me to show their disapproval.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

I actually had no idea you were in direct communication with the kickass ladies. Do they have any recommendations for a 45 year old dude who wants to do some Jujitsu or MMA? Just for fitness; I’m too old to kick anyone’s ass, lol. I did share this community with my one coworker who is big into MMA, especially the ladies, as well. Unfortunately, it’s just really hard to get people to adopt Lemmy and then figure it out and then become regular users. I don’t know that I have any better ideas yet. Actually, I do have one other coworker in Bosnia, who is also big into it and follows it regularly. I’ll have to think on that one for a second.

[–] KickassWomen 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So I asked Muay Thai champion Barbara A. and she recommended Muay Thai

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Thanks! (Although....unsurprising?)

[–] KickassWomen 2 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, I only post content belonging to women who have given me their permission.

As for asking them for recommendations, give me a couple of days and hopefully, I can get a answer for you.