this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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I spend so much effort trying to distract my kid from just asking to watch TV, then as soon as I get some time to myself it's straight onto the TV or video games (or phone). Maybe I need to practice on myself as well?

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[–] dktr 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Kids will do what you do, so if you’re spending time feeding your brain dopamine by using your phone they will do the same.

The best gift you can give a kid is your time. And if you need to use your phone, explain why (“I’m lowering the volume on the stereo” or “I’m starting the heat cycle in our car”).

It’s not easy, but you’re their role model - so stay true to your own ideals and you’ll ace it!

[–] ClockworkOtter 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yep, pretty much

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

There is no time for yourself, you're a parent now.

My home workshop is basically a dump for random things at this point... and it's gonna stay like that for a while.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

We need this too. When we have a somewhat long drive I usually do all the driving because my wife hates it but she’ll sit there telling our kid she (our daughter) can’t watch the iPad while she (my wife) plays on her phone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've definitely had to "re-wire" myself. The phone is too convenient to pick up! I have some hobbies that I have gotten back into, like reading and drawing.

My child is maturing enough so I can get more into my more involved hobbies, like woodworking. (I considered picking up 3D printing or sewing, but one step at a time lol.)

[–] ClockworkOtter 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, it's the one thing you just carry around. If I'm waiting for the kettle to boil it's enough time to refresh Lemmy, but not enough to read even part of a chapter in a book.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Just read Shakespeare instead you know you want to

[–] ClockworkOtter 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You have a point. I usually keep the book in reading next to my bed. Maybe I just need books dotted around the house.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How old is the kid? They might be ready for you to read chapter books to them at bedtime. I remember being about 10 and getting lotr and Brian jacques read to me. For 'can I watch something' - predictability is key. If they have a chance of trying to wear you down, they'll take it. Settle for something like: you get 1 little bear after daycare, and that's it for the rest of the day.
As other guy said tho, that means you can't watch either tho.

[–] ClockworkOtter 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

She's 2. Trying not to let her wear me down!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The other thing I've learned is not to cater media to kids. E.g., every time I get in car we don't listen to her music. I'll put on the radio and sometimes she tells me 'I like that'. Who knew kids would like Foo Fighters Everlong because it's relaxing. Or that my 3 yo will watch Jane Austen movies with my wife?

[–] ClockworkOtter 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hmm... We're trying to make sure we all get turns, so she gets nursery rhymes to sing along and do the actions to, then we get some pop, rock, folk or metal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah. Totally makes sense, and that is fair. Tho turns seem to lead to the 'is it my turn yet? Is it now? Now?' conversation that sometimes I would rather avoid.

I tell my kid I can't play Spotify in the car, and so she's fine with the radio or quiet. Wife does let her sometimes - and every time we get into the car with her, kid says 'can I listen to X music'.

Sometimes a hard rule is just helpful to avoid those discussions.