Transfem

I want to firstly say that hormones changing your sexuality doesn't happen, at least not in the cause and effect way presented there. Hormones can make you reexamine yourself and who you are and how you feel about pretty much everything in your entire life. I'm not exaggerating when I say that going on hormones was a crossroads moment of my life and that nothing about me or my life has ever been the same.

I wasn't sexually active for over 2 and a half years on hormones. Occasionally I did things by myself, but I never fully lost function. It can happen to anyone, but for me at least while I still had a penis it always remained relatively functional. From the trans women I know, its uncommon to lose function to the point of not being able to use it at all. Your testicles and penis will shrink, the former more than the latter but both will become smaller to a point.

I'm really happy for you, that your wife and your children are accepting of your identity as a woman (or NB) and are willing to support you in your transition. I'll say this just once, but you need to assess transition and you relationship both together and separately. You are the only person who has to wake up in your body every single day. No one else has to be you, so your feelings towards your body should always come first and foremost. Your wife and you may benefit from counseling with an LGBT positive counselor to try and work through this. I know you love your wife very much and may not feel that you need counseling, but I cant say enough how beneficial counseling can be for couples where one or both partners are undergoing transition. Continue to talk with your children as well, they more than anyone else will have feelings that are so important for you to listen to through this. You sound like a wonderful mom, and I'm sure your children are incredibly happy to have someone so accepting as their mom.

Moving might make sense depending on just how bad the area you live in is. Trans accepting communities do exist and its worth it to live in one.

All in all though you sound like you have the right attitude and perspective to have through this. Try everything girly you've ever wanted to try, accept yourself for who you are and spend lots of time experiencing your own gender for the first real time. :)

Sexuality can change, but I don't think it's as simple as "HRT changed my sexuality"

Personally, I think they can be part of the experience, but there is nothing to suggest that they're capable of initiating dramatic changes. Most people who experience sexuality change with transition experience a broadening of their sexuality, not a reduction or a flip.

Yet flips and big changes can happen. I experienced one myself, but even they doesn't stop you loving people that you already love. It won't stop you from being able to share intimacy with your life partner. It may change what intimacy looks like, but that's going to happen with transition anyway. Whatever else happens though, you won't find yourself looking at the woman you love and want to spend your life with and suddenly thinking "Nope, nothing there now"

Other than that, congrats on giving yourself permission to find and accept yourself.

My main advice would be don't sweat the what ifs and maybes. Nothing about transition is instantaneous. It's a lesson in patience, and whilst that can be challenging, the upside is that it also means you have the time to make sure you're doing things in a way that works for you. You will have the time to find your own way :)

Hey girl!

You probably already know this since you've been looking for it, but just to save you some headaches searching in case you've gotten the terms mixed up--you're probably looking for tucking underwear! Packing is for the opposite effect!