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You're not dead when you're petrified, either, which can lead to some pretty interesting exploits, rules-as-written.

Petrified creatures count as creatures, not objects, so rules-as-written you can determine if a statue is a petrified creature by trying to target it with a spell that requires a creature for a target.

With the cantrip Poison Spray, you can check for petrified creatures without using spell slots or risking damaging the creature, since it would be immune to poison while petrified.

Probably should go join the Thousand ~~Suns~~ Sons. They might set you up with some nice power armor.

AI GM be like: "Yep. Seems legit."

I’m just going to swing for the fences with the always objectionable, “fiction trumps rules.”

My sister played a campaign as a sentient ham sandwich. She would love this.

Edit:

Lmao 🤣

Why would it matter if it says you die? It's not like there's a rule that dead characters can't take actions. Or that they transform into objects. Or get sent to another plane of existence depending on who they worship and their alignment while leaving an object behind.

*"Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Jesus, get the quote right.

Ain't nothin' in the RAW that states a sentient pile of dust can't play basketball.

OP you appear to be committed to (not) dying on this hill and I applaud you

This is the real meaning of the exception that proves the rule.

It doesn't kill you, it turns you into an inanimate object.

Edit: And objects aren't creatures.

that's a lich that travels with his phylactery

The spell specifies you turn into gray dust. Unfortunately gray dust has no listed stat block.

Luckily it is mentioned in "Tales from the Yawning Portal", "The floor of this room is covered with a layer of fine gray dust and ash, three inches deep."

Based on the rest of the description you are restricted to the room in which you turned to dust and the only action you may take is casting " Minor Illusion", with the added restriction of all illusions must be humanoid.

A disintegrated creature and everything it is wearing and carrying, except magic items, are reduced to a pile of fine gray dust. The creature can be restored to life only by means of a true resurrection or a wish spell.

Why would you need to be "restored to life" if you weren't dead?

Get the feeling it would be difficult to have a dust based strength character though. Hard to hold weapons/make attacks with them as dust.

Maybe wizard?